Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Look, It’s Christina Aguilera’s Mug Shot!

A photo of Christina Aguilera's mug shot

Can you tell where it’s from?

Sorry about the low quality, but this is as good as we’re going to get – there’s not going to be a public release of the mug shot, Lindsay style, because nobody plans on pressing charges against Christina.  It’s a good thing too, because this girl does not handle the police station’s lighting that well, does she?

For good measure, here’s the rundown from a police officer on Christina’s arrest:

“They [police] witnessed a person driving erratically. At 2.45 am this morning a gentleman was stopped for allegedly driving under the influence. He was subsequently arrested and his passenger, Ms. Aguilera, she was arrested. It was kind of a unique situation with this law as she was not capable of taking care of herself. She was incapacitated. When she got out of the car, she couldn’t stand. We had to help her stand. She didn’t know where she was and she didn’t know her own address. We took her into custody for her own protection. She was cooperative and she was not belligerent in any way whatsoever. She was just intoxicated.”

I’ve been drunk enough to think that bushes were bears, but I’ve never been like “yeah, I have no fucking idea where I am right now, and I couldn’t tell you where I live.”  Is that common?  Is that some next level drinking that I need to get into, or is that why everyone wants her to go to rehab?

Oh, by the way, remember how yesterday we were all like “how do you get arrested for public intoxication for being drunk inside a car?”  Well, I was watching this special about people getting arrested naked while I was trying to take a nap (is that trashy?), and these cops pulled over this guy for driving drunk, then found out he was also naked.  And there was a lady sitting next to him, minding her own business in the car, and she got arrested for public intoxication.  This happens.  It’s just a protective measure, because you’re wasted, it’s not like you can just drive home while your buddy goes to jail, so you get “arrested” so they can deal with your drunk ass.

The moral of the story is “always have a designated driver so you don’t get a pity arrest like Christina Aguilera.”

1 CommentLeave a comment