Except that news isn’t really surprising at all, is it?  It’s actually very easy to imagine Robert Pattinson saving all his greasy t-shirts, and I bet he even holds on to Kristen’s stupid flannel, because he’s a sentimental dude like that.

Let’s check out the specifics of Robert’s hoarding ways:

He told the Daily Record: “I’m a hoarder. I gave away all my furniture from [when I lived in] Baton Rouge, but with books and things I have storage spaces all over the world.

“It’s ridiculous. Clothes – I cannot give away clothes. I don’t know why. I wear the same thing every day and I just have piles and piles and piles of clothes and then every two years, I’ll go to the storage space and kind of see what I can give away.

“I give away like three things, search through everything and then pack it all back up and put it in the storage space.”

The thing is, I bet this guy could still get all kinds of ladies. Like, if his house was full of rotten food and animal skeletons and dirty adult diapers (in this scenario, much like one that was on the Hoarders show, his bathroom is so full of stuff he’s hoarded that he can’t get to the toilet, so he uses diapers), tons of girls would still be like “for sure, Edward Cullen, you can definitely still have access to my vagina.”  And I think that’s the saddest part of all.

Maybe if it were, like, eight years or so ago and she had a paper bag over her head, then yeah. But today? And especially after ALLEGEDLY hooking up with Sam Ronson, who infamously crack-snacked on Lindsay Lohan’s diseased bits which rubbed up against an ex of Paris Hilton’s … no fucking way, man. You couldn’t PAY me to go near that grimy shit.

Still, though, her boyfriend Matthew Rutler (who may or may not be paid at this point; the jury’s still out on that one) is open to getting it on with her, and at a public place like a relative’s bathroom during a party. The result? The very same relatives and friends spoke to the media, calling Christina ‘trashy’ and ‘out of control’:

“Her friends are fed up. Nobody can get through to her. They think she’s trashy. And her ego is out of control.”

The same sources also say that it wouldn’t be all that broad of an assumption to make that Christina’s going to be in rehab over the next few months.

Me, I’m sort of banking on it – this way, the Disney/Mickey Mouse club female child-star syndrome that I grew to be fascinated with over the last ten years will have almost come full circle: Britney lost her shit, Lindsay lost her shit, Miley is on the highway to hell, and Christina is picking up speed as the next train to totally derail. It’s all sad, really, but when you’re supposed to be a big girl with a child to take care of, ‘trashy’ and ‘out of control’ would definitely be the operative terms.

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I’m just speechless. I mean, it’s obvious that she’s gotten a boob job at some point in the last few years, and they don’t show much of her face, unfortunately, but girlfriend’s got what some might consider a flawless body.

Are you one of them? And what do you think of the commercial – does it make you want to shop Armani or, you know, just rub one out?

As most of you are probably aware by now, Two and a Half Men has been cancelled, and network execs for the show cite Charlie Sheen’s behavior and recent commentary for the halt in production. CBS had, oh, this to say in announcing the show’s demise:

“Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of “Two and a Half Men” for the remainder of the season.”

Charlie’s response?

“News flash… I am special and I will never be one of you … I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it… with my mind. … These turds, these losers, there’s no reason to then bring them back into the fold because I have real fame, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night. And I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home. And they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. Bring me a frickin’ challenge. It just ain’t there.”

I’m not going to pretend here – I have no idea what Charlie’s trying to get at (I’m afraid that I failed ‘Deciphering Detox-Speak’ in college) but regardless? The kid on the show is probably SOOO PISSED.

Aannnd … Two and a Half Men is cancelled, just like that. [The Superficial]

Katie Holmes starting to get some rosiness back into her cheeks, probably just needs to take a shit. [Cele|Bitchy]

Chris Brown responds to new Rihanna abuse photos, thinks people are out to ruin his album. [Amy Grindhouse]

Milla Jovovich takes off the hundred-plus-pounds that she claimed to put on during pregnancy – or did she? [ICYDK]

What’s with James Franco and all the flying cats? [Celebrity VIP Lounge]