But this photo from New Year’s Eve kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

In the days following one of the more surprising celebrity break ups in recent memory (I know, I know, Sarah called it, but not everyone is as astute as we are), there have been all sorts of reports naming the reasons why the marriage failed.  However, the only official thing we know is that tired old “irreconcilable differences” claptrap, so I’m going to bring you guys a couple of rumors that I heard on the street.

1. Ashlee is bluffing to keep Pete from touring.  This is the one that I want to be true because it allows for a nice little romantic ending in which Pete realizes how much he loves Ashlee and changes his vagabond ways to settle down with his family, and in my version, this doesn’t break his spirit at all.  This is the one I’m voting for.

2. Ashlee is so over Pete’s “erratic behavior.” In this version, Ashlee’s been “extremely unhappy for a long time,” while Pete has been pleased as punch with their marriage and unaware that Ashlee didn’t feel the same way.  I think this is the saddest reason – it paints a tragic picture of Pete being happy for once in his whole tortured life and then getting the rug pulled out from under him.

3. They married too young. This is extremely plausible, and probably a factor of the split any way you look at it.  This has happened at least once to every female in my family – you’re out there, living your life, you meet some nice boy, you get knocked up, so you follow through and marry the dude, and everything’s cool for a few years until you settle into the fact that this is your life, and it’s not what you wanted.  I’m not saying that this story always has this ending, I’m just saying that I’ve seen it go that way a good few times.

4. Ashlee’s too into partying and drinking to be settled down right now. A few days before she filed for divorce, Ashlee was seen at a nightclub, knocking back the Grey Goose and having a good ol’ time.  Apparently, she’s been doing this kind of thing for a while, this “partying and being out of control,” and that’s an “outlet for her unhappiness.”

There you have it, the possible reasons for the Simpson-Wentz divorce.  Which way are you guys leaning?

Say what you will about Ke$ha (no really, say whatever you want, I can smack talk Ke$ha all day long), but the girl gives a damn good interview.  Luckily for us, she had a little chat with Vanity Fair here recently, and she didn’t disappoint.  I’m going to share my favorite excerpts, but I really recommend reading the whole thing.  Trust me, you guys, Ke$ha will give you a giggle on this dreary Saturday morning.

On Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,you told Ryan Seacrest that your resolution for 2011 is “to not be a douchebag.” How’s that been working out for you?

Thus far, I think I’m doing a pretty decent job. I’m not saying I don’t fuck up here and there. But for the most part, I think the douchery has been kept to a minimum.

Do you have a favorite Muppet? One that you’ve been dying to collaborate with?

What’s the guy’s name who lives in garbage?

Oscar.

Oscar the Grouch! Yeah, I’d want to duet with him. We have a lot in common. We share a very similar personal philosophy on life. He and I are one in the same.

I don’t think he shares your appreciation for glitter.

Oh, I’d turn him around. I’d just throw it at him. The glitter’s not really a choice. When you’re around me, you’re going to get glitter on you. It infuriates a lot of people who hang out with me. They get glitter on them and it won’t come off for days and it ruins their game. But I think it’s incredible.

What’s your glitter budget for a typical year? It’s got to be in the thousands, right?

Honestly, it’s pretty exorbitant. It’s probably more like a few thousand every month. If you come and see a show of mine, there is no shortage of glitter. By the end, everyone from the back of the auditorium to the very front is covered and potentially choking on glitter. I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It’s really a big part of what I do. It’s my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over. I can’t do that if I don’t have a shit-ton of glitter.

Wait, did I hear you correctly? You’ve got glitter coming out of every orifice?

That’s right. I’ve found glitter in places that will not be named in this interview.

You might want to mention that to a doctor. Would you describe it as a glittery discharge?

No, it shoots out. And it’s coming from everywhere on my body. Let’s just leave it at that.

I met this dude in a theatre class one time, and he was a super great guy, really funny and charming and sweet and all that. But then it was time for him to do a monologue, and I should also mention that he was really passionate about acting, like that’s what he wanted to do with his whole life, but when he did his monologue, it was the most awful thing.  He was just a bad actor, but he was still that great dude.  So I had to make a choice of whether or not I could still be tight with him while not really respecting his life ambition.

I feel like I’m at that crossroads right now with Ke$ha: do I glance over her life’s work so I can have fun with her, or do I just cut all ties?  What are your thoughts?

Great. Just great.

Another totally crap song from my earlier years that will be stuck in my head ’til I get the NEXT totally crap song from my earlier years stuck in my head.

I’m on the home stretch of the the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, hitting up day seven out of ten, which centers around the idea of no relational limitations today by developing a ‘love map.’

What’s a ‘love map,’ you ask? Why, I’ll tell you. According to Dr. John Money of Johns Hopkins University, who coined the term back in 1980, the ‘love map’ refers to the ‘sexual template expressed in every individual’s erotic fantasies and practices.’ In short? HOO-daddy, SEXUAL FANTASIES.

This ‘love map’ tells of your base desires that trigger an erotic, physical response and validates where our turn-ons (and offs) come from.

We were to journal, and discuss, those things that turned us on, even if it was unexplainable. We sat down, took out a pen and paper, and both went at it, starting with previous sexual encounters that we’d experienced together, and then with other partners. (What, you’re going to judge me because boyfriend’s not the only one that I’ve slept with? It’s not 1942 you know.) I thought I’d be uncomfortable discussing my previous sexual endeavors with my, you know, husband, and equally uncomfortable hearing about his, but guys? I wasn’t. I guess if I’m talking about myself, there’s not much I CAN be uncomfortable about, since it’s kind of one of my favorite past-times.

I digress. (See? I get all carried away, talking about myself, and we’re totally off topic. You can imagine where this afternoon’s conversation between my husband and I ended up, badum-ching.)

After making our lists, in private, we were to review them on our own. We determined whether or not the noted experience still turned us on (um, yes) and if there were any that we now regretted, in the light of day (hardly). We hooked up a little later after our reflections and shared and compared. It turned out that we had a lot of similar experiences outside of our relationship, and shared a lot of turn-ons that had occurred within our relationship, too.

We were going to then separate and do a list of turn-offs, only to reconvene later, but after sharing our lists, we took a little afternoon siesta and THAT. Is all I will say about that, thankyouverymuch.

Day Seven? Total win, and thank you to K-Y for giving us such great ideas to begin stirring up old ideas.

You guys can check out the other bloggers that are participating in the experiment over at K-Y’s Facebook page, Couples Place, and also check out The Bachelorette‘s Trista and Ryan‘s page to find out how they’re dealing.

DON’T FORGET – you have a few days left to enter for your own kit, which will include the experiments that I’ve undergone and documented here, and some that were too hot to talk about in such a public forum (OK, not too hot to talk about, but sponsors don’t want this turning into a complete porn site, believe it or not). Leave your name and website in the comments and tune in after February 14th to find out if you’ve won (I mean, I’ll contact you by email one way or the other, but come on. IT’S FUN).

I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y^® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. In addition, K-Y^® Brand sent me a gift card to thank me for taking the time to participate.

I was reading through all the Lady Gaga coverage out there today when I saw this piece about an interview the singer recently did with Anderson Cooper. In it Gaga reveals that she thinks that deep down all the public wants is to see her not just fail, but to die of a drug overdose.

From the Telegraph:

Lady Gaga, whose new single Born This Way was released today online, said: “That’s what everyone wants to know, right? What’s she gonna look like when she dies? What’s she gonna look like when she’s overdosed on whatever they think I’m overdosing on? Everybody wants to see the decay of the superstar.”

When asked by interviewer Anderson Cooper: “Do you think people wanna see your decay?” the singer replies: “What? Of course they do. They wanna see me fail, they wanna see me fall on stage, they wanna see me vomiting out of a nightclub. I mean, isn’t that the age that we live in? That we wanna see — people who have it all lose it all? I mean, it’s — it’s dramatic. And it’s…”

“And then climb their way back,” Cooper interjected.

“Right. It’s a movie,” Gaga responded. “And — and yet I just am not like that on — on my own time. … I’m not a vomit in the club kind of girl.”

Normally I think that Lady Gaga is pretty intelligent sounding, but this is just fucking ridiculous. Who does she think she is? Britney Spears in 2008? I’m pretty sure that no one out there thinks she’s going to have a River Phoenix-style death. If anything, one of those massive sparkly things she’s always wearing on her head might snap her neck, but a drug overdose?

Sounds like her own paranoia over some secret habits is poking it’s ugly little head out and giving itself away.

Britney Spears announced during a Q&A on her Twitter page yesterday that she’s ready to get back into acting and would love to work with either director Todd Philips or Judd Apatow.

Britney hasn’t done a movie since her first,  Crossroads, which tanked with both critics and fans alike, but she has done successful guest spots on Saturday Night Live and How I Met Your Mother. We also can’t forget that long before we knew her as a singer, we knew her as the little girl with the hammy personality on The New Mickey Mouse Club.

I actually would be interested in seeing Brit back on the big screen and I think she’d do well surrounded by the naturally funny casts that make up most of Todd and Judd’s movies. I just ask that she doesn’t go the way of Justin Timberlake and get so caught up in her new hobby that she forgets to make music for five years.