Ah, the Oscars. A pretty valid reason to sit on the sofa, stuff your face with bad food and good booze, and feel sorry for yourself for sucking so hard at life that you didn’t end up to be the actress or comedian that you wanted to be, all the while thanking your lucky stars that you don’t have to sit through uncomfortable, staged awards shows for hours at a clip, pretending to like those seated at your table when all you really want to do is reach over and really fuck up some expensive hair extensions and Botox.

Best dressed? Worst dressed? Who showed that totally didn’t belong? Leave it all in the comments, guys.

Justin Timberlake: totally banging Mila Kunis. [The Superficial]

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber: ALL OVER one another at post-Oscar party. [Socialite Life]

Snooki slams Regis. [The Frisky]

Want to see Lady Gaga in a close, intimate setting? [popbytes]

Is Justin Bieber going to star in G.I. Joe II? [Pajiba]

Charlie Sheen passed a drug test or something. [Cele|Bitchy]

Some EPIC Britney news! [Amy Grindhouse]

There is NO WAY this woman is 46. [CityRag]

Exclusive insider shots of Zac Efron’s newest movie! [Caught on Set]

This is definitely who Taylor Swift is dating. [Pop on the Pop]

Predictably, The King’s Speech took practically all, and the only TRULY memorable event of the night occurred when the above Melissa Leo dropped the f-bomb during her acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress, but on the whole, it was a good, good show. The fashion was on par – wicked photo galleries to come – and the best movies won, so hey. It was a success. And congratulations, Melissa Leo, for being the first individual in Oscar history to be so overt and genuine in your excitement that you dropped said f-bomb. Oh, and did you guys notice that Anne Hathaway and James Franco were the show’s hosts?  Because they were pretty forgettable, if you ask me.

Best Picture
The King’s Speech

Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman in Black Swan

Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth in The King’s Speech

Foreign Language Film
In a Better World, Denmark

Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale in The Fighter

Music (Original Score)
The Social Network, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

Sound Mixing
Inception Lora Hirschberg, Gary A. Rizzo and Ed Novick

Sound Editing
Inception, Richard King

Makeup
The Wolfman, Rick Baker and Dave Elsey

Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland, Colleen Atwood

Documentary (Short Subject)
Strangers No More, Karen Goodman and Kirk Simon

Short Film (Live Action)
God of Love, Luke Matheny

Documentary (Feature)
Inside Job, Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs

Visual Effects
Inception, Paul Franklin, Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley and Peter Bebb

Film Editing
The Social Network, Angus Wall and Kirk Baxter

Music (Original Song)
‘We Belong Together’ from Toy Story 3, Music and Lyric by Randy Newman

Directing
The King’s Speech, Tom Hooper

Art Direction
Alice in Wonderland, Production Design: Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara

Cinematography
Inception, Wally Pfister

Actress in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo, The Fighter

Short Film (Animated)
The Lost Thing, Shaun Tan and Andrew Ruhemann

Animated Feature Film
Toy Story 3, Lee Unkrich

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)
The Social Network, Screenplay by Aaron Sorkin

Writing (Original Screenplay)
The King’s Speech, Screenplay by David Seidler

Every year I wind up accidentally live Tweeting the Oscars. It’s that cheap champagne/loud mouth tendencies/self-important celebrities on parade combo that gets me every single time.

This year, I’ve decided to commit to it. I just ate a piece of barbecue chicken, I have white wine chillin’ in the fridge (Two Buck Chuck ’til I die) and I’ve invited my good friend and fellow bloglady Marrisa A. Ross over to join in the fun.

Feel free to follow my Twitter account, as well as Marissa’s, if you’re looking for some snarkalicious commentary fueled by the combination of our own bitterness and, of course, inexpensive libations.

We’re in Los Angeles, so we’ll officially start at 5:30 PST.

“I am on a drug.  It’s called ‘Charlie Sheen!’”

I’m sorry, you guys, I couldn’t resist.  Charlie Sheen is just so on fire right now.  This beautiful man just did his first televised interview since his life fell apart this last time – part of the interview is going to be on Good Morning America on Monday and then there’s going to be a 20/20 on Tuesday night with the whole thing – and judging by TMZ’s promo, it’s going to be a spectacular event in television. Don’t get me wrong, this guy’s great on radio (and everywhere else in this world), but just look at his crackhead expressions.  Tuesday can’t get here soon enough.

Oh, but in case you looked at this headline and grew concerned over Charlie’s drug use, calm your heart, because Charlie’s clean.  We know this because he pissed in a cup in front of three dudes from Radar.  The test confirmed that Charlie hasn’t smoked weed for the past 40 days and that he hasn’t had coke or meth in the past four days.  He also did a blood test, and those results should be in later tonight or tomorrow morning.

Strangely enough, no one’s said anything about booze.  Did everyone forget that he’s into that too?  Or does he not have to cure his alcoholism with his mind because it’s not illegal?

I used a photo of Rihanna because … I mean, she’d obviously win in this battle, right?  I don’t know, I’m super bad at fights and arguments and anything remotely aggressive, so you guys can check out these ladies’ Twitter fight and let me know the victor.

It all started when Ciara went on E!’s Fashion Police and said “I ran into her recently at a party. She wasn’t the nicest,” of Rihanna. She continued with “It’s crazy, because I’ve always loved and respected what she’s done in fashion. It wasn’t the most pleasant run-in.” Totally hurtful, right?  So when Rihanna heard that, she did the reasonable thing and addressed the issue on Twitter:

I know, Rihanna did two in a row, that doesn’t seem like the proper etiquette for this sort of thing, but Ciara hit the ground running with her reply:

That’s a little much for this stage of the battle, right?  But Rihanna went with it and got real:

Ciara could only type those two words through her tears, that’s what happened there. Don’t you just hate those girls like Rihanna, those girls who just take it from vague threats of violence to letting you know that you’re a failure in your whole life?  Rihanna probably felt bad after she realized that’s what she’d done, so she apologized:

Drawing this Twitter battle to a close, Ciara accepted the apology and the two are probably on an ice cream date right now, crying it out.

Sweet, right?