We knew Mariah Carey was going to go all out for her twins, but now we have an idea of the extent she’s going to. And it’s cray, yo.

According to a source close to MiMi, she’s already secured the following items for her little prince and princess:

18-carat gold trim with ivory walls

Walk-in wardrobes full of Petit Trésor designer clothes

A top-of-the-range sound system

Diamond-encrusted iPods

Flatscreen TVs that come down from the ceiling

Chelsea Sleigh cribs

Glam Glider chairs

$1 million red-crushed velvet, 24-carat gold and onyx sofa used for Michael Jackson’s shows

Clara changing table

Well, if we’ve learned anything from this, it’s that the best vaginas to come out of are the rich ones. And that these babies’ first birthday party is probably going to outdo all of our weddings.

GAHTDAMN, I love Mariah Carey. What a crazy bitch.

Were you aware that Justin Bieber (yes, THE Justin Bieber) was on CSI this week? And that he gets pumped full of lead by a bunch of cops at the end of the episode? I didn’t either until I saw this clip this morning, but now I can’t stop watching it.

From what I can tell, Justin and the other dude in the van are the bad guys, and the police have been chasing them for awhile. After they surround the van, the cop instructs them both to get out of the vehicle and drop their weapons. There’s a little bit of trickery at the end on Justin’s part (don’t want to give all the good stuff away!) and that results in him taking what can only be described as MAD BULLETS to the chest. Damn.

I guess things happen for a reason, right?

“I was sitting with Courtney Love, and she might’ve saved me from a fight. I’m not going to say ass-whipping . . . But you never know—he’s hanging out with Guy Ritchie. Those guys go at it. She kind of barked, or was growling, and that was it.”

- Chris Rock explaining how, after making Jude Law mad at the 2005 Oscars, Courtney Love came to his defense and prevented a brawl from going down.

Man, I love it when real behind-the-scenes dirt comes out years after it happened. Can you imagine a better image than Courtney Love standing between Chris Rock and Jude Law, barking and growling? Obviously you can because it’s the best mental image ever. I may get that scene tattooed on my shoulder blades.

Isn’t that sweet?  Isn’t that just the sort of thing Lindsay needs right now?  Amidst all her woes, legal and otherwise, this is exactly what Lindsay should be concerning herself with.  Let me outline Lindsay’s evening for you, and then you can tell me how much you agree.

-At approximately 1:45 last night, Lindsay rolled into a club, the same club that Sam Ronson was visiting.  Total coincidence.

-The ladies hung out for 45 minutes, Lindsay surely did not consume any alcohol whatsoever, and then they left together (see the above photo).

-Around 6:00 AM, Sam tweeted the following:

I can believe that exes can be friends.  I’ll take that.  But can exes hang out at a nightclub, go home together, and sleep in the same bed platonically?

Image courtesy of TMZ

What That 70′s Show‘s Donna looks like today (spoiler? HOT). [The Superficial]

Um, did these two get married and SOMEHOW I missed it?! [Lainey Gossip]

Oh, look who Lindsay Lohan left the club with last night. [TMZ]

Gwyneth Paltrow spends more on her kids’ pajamas than I do on weekly groceries you guys. [Amy Grindhouse]

Ew, you can totally see J Woww’s nasty-assed tit implant scars. [The Blemish]

Oh Megan Fox. You are, by far, one of the fairest creatures I’ve set my eyes on in, like, life. Your body might be a little scrawny for my personal tastes, but that face – when you’re not blowing your lips up with the injectable of the day (today it looks like fish oil, no lie) – is AMAZING, and oh, how I covet your eyebrows.

Keep on keeping hot, Megan, and I promise, I’ll be just rapt with attention even if your acting DOES suck.