So this is what A-Rod’s being throttled by nightly, I get it. I mean, he strikes me as someone who’d probably like it pretty rough, and we all know how Cammy tries soooo hard to please her man, so I suppose that’s the only true explanation here, isn’t it? Like, gosh, there couldn’t be any other reason that she’d want fetid old vampire (read: Madonna) arms, is there?

… Thoughts?

Kanye West‘s video for “All of the Lights” premiered this week and HEY! It’s pretty good! I have no clue what the fuck’s supposed to be going on, but it’s not half bad! Maybe Kanye’s got that huge ego for a reason!

Directed by Hype Williams, the video opens with a little girl walking through the snowy Manhattan streets alone at night. Then she’s hit by “all of the lights” and what looks like it’s going to be a title sequence starts. It’s not a title sequence, it’s a flashy karaoke-esque series of lyrics. Then we see Kanye dancing around on top of a cop car and then finally, just about two and a half minutes in, RIHANNA SIDE BOOB FOR DAYS.

You know, I never did acid in my youth and I feel like my experimentation days are long behind me, but I would hope that if I did chose to drop some, my trip would look something like this. Especially the side boob part, because I love me some Rihanna side boob.

Prince William and Kate Middleton‘s wedding invitations (above) are in the mail, folks. That means that any day now, you could wake up to one of these in your mailbox. That is, if you’re one of the 1,800 charity leaders, prime minsters, school friends and other people who are Sarah Ferguson that was on the Prince’s invite list.

Here’s what I want to know: Who are they getting to DJ and will there be an open bar? I wouldn’t even consider attending a wedding on this scale unless I knew the answer to this question. And that said, what the hell do you get a prince and a princess for their wedding? I doubt they are registered at Crate & Barrel and my usual gift of a snowcone machine seems like it might be out of place  in a palace. Like, the probably have some Italian ice shaver living with them already and can get fresh snowcones whenever they want. That’s how royalty lives, right?

Would you attend the royal wedding if you were invited, and what would you bring the couple as a gift?

I’m not really clear on how it is that former America’s Next Top Model contestant Adrienne Curry wound up at the wedding of some woman and a robot, but these pictures sure do leave a lot to the imagination.

I hope this woman and the robot she’ll have to financially support are very happy together.

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is insisting that she’s not pregnant again, but her new boyfriend, Adam Dockery, keeps saying otherwise.

Adam reportedly told RumorFix that Amber took several pregnancy tests and each of them came back positive. He also added, “She went to Planned Parenthood. And she’s telling me it was negative, but I’m not so sure if I’m believing her though.”

Nice. A boyfriend who speaks to the press about his girlfriend’s personal business AND paints her to be a liar. This guy could teach even Scott Disick a thing or two.

What do you guys think? Is Amber dumb enough to be pregnant again, or is she just having sex with some big mouthed fame hungry idiot?

David Archuleta has been dropped by Jive Records, the label that picked him up after he came in as runner up on American Idol. David’s second album sold a mere 63,000 copies which doesn’t exactly make him major label material. I wonder what his creepy dad has to say about this.

When David lost American Idol, I think the general consensus was that he was going to be just fine without the grand prize. Teen girls were swooning over him, the press loved him and the kid could carry a tune. He had all the right stuff to be a huge star, which is exactly why I’m so surprised to hear this news?

Why do you think American Idol stars so quickly fade away? With the exception of Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson, even the most successful formal Idols have dropped out of the spotlight, more or less. But they obviously possess at least some talent to make it through the competition, right?