Today's Evil Beet Gossip

An Open Letter to Ke$ha Regarding Her Latest Music Video, “Blow”

Dear Ke$ha,

We’ve had our fair share of problems in the past.  I think we can both admit that.  But I thought we were getting past that, that we were heading towards a more mature, close stage in our friendship.  And then you go and do something like this.

Ke$ha, you know that I have a socially awkward 12-year-old girl’s mentality when it comes to unicorns.  I’ve shown you all my figurines and stuffed animals and jewelry and tattoo sketches.  And you also know how wonderful rainbows make me feel and how much I adore glitter.  And I don’t think I even have to state my feelings on James Van Der Beek – I sing the Dawson’s Creek theme song at least three times a day, I think that’s pretty self-explanatory.  So tell me, Ke$ha, in what universe is it acceptable for you to make this video?

YOU SHOOT UNICORNS, KE$HA.  You shoot unicorns and they collapse in bursts of glitters, with rainbows shooting out of their wounds.  I saw the disclaimer at the beginning of the video, but in the immortal words of Tupac, my mama didn’t raise no fool.  If you think that my reaction to this debacle would be anything other than to curse your name and cut all ties, then you are sorely mistaken. I hope you can find solace in your whiskey and in James Van Der Beek, because you surely won’t be finding any in me.

With no respect and thinly veiled disgust,

Emily

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I know it’s absurd, but I fucking love this music video. I think it’s hilarious in the best, self-mocking sort of way.

    Frankly, Ke$ha is scoring serious points in my book–especially considering the disaster that is “Born This Way.” I never thought I would prefer Ke$ha to Lady Gaga, but I was just so unimpressed with Gaga’s latest that I’m totally open to “Blow.”

  • I’ve always loved Ke$ha secretly but I think this music video represents the turning point at which I am willing to come out of the closet about it.

  • She probably drinks the unicorn blood afterwards. According to JK Rowling, those who slay unicorns and drink their blood lead cursed lives. That explains alot.

  • I think dillan is missing the point of the video AND the letter. So sad. Loved the video, love the letter. Em…there are professionals who can help you deal with the aftermath. Good luck with that.

  • What is up with Ke$ha’s videos only being available in the US & Canada? I have only been able to watch today, and I think it is hilarious! Those unicorns are stuff nightmares are made of, as someone else said and Ke$ha looks pretty, although I must admit I am kind of disappointed her hair looks so sleek, I like it better when it looks like a hot mess. Oh, and for some reason James Van Der Douche (ha) is looking hot. So yeah, I like the video! And I love unicorns, but of the cuddly kind, not these.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.