“The only reason I got married in 2003 was for my children. I had a therapist who said marriage is really a container for a family and that made sense to me. Bart and I have been together for years. We have Caleb, 13, and our daughter Liv, who is eight.”
Julianne Moore, on the persuasion it took from her therapist to marry her children’s father for her children’s sake, which really brings up an interesting point – the very idea that some people are willing to sacrifice their romantic relationship satisfaction for an out-dated idea that a family absolutely has to be married by the church, or by a court of law, in order to be legit. Or authentic. Or whatever.
More often than not? In shitty, stay-together-for-the-kids relationships? It’s THE KIDS who are most affected. When two parents stick it out for any reason other than wanting to stick it out? It really never ends well for anyone, if it ends at all – and sometimes that in itself is just as damaging as ending badly.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not anti-marriage by a long shot. And I think that EVERYONE, whatever their sexual orientation is, should be allowed to marry. But I also think that couples shouldn’t be pressured to marry because it’s either ‘right for the kids’ state of mind,’ or because it’s Just What People Do if They Want Kids. My bottom line? Getting married for any other reasons than love, mutual respect, and a desire to stay together for as long as remotely possible is just crap.
I like you, Julianne. And I’m glad that your situation’s working out for you these days. And because there might have been some undertones of trouble in your relationship, just based on your words, I wish you luck in either case. Just do me a favor – if shit rolls downhill, which sometimes, you know, happens, keep the kids out of it.