“There’s a brand of red-velvet cake; her mouth is made of that. She smashes you in the mouth [in] those kissing scenes. If I was Ben Affleck, man, I’d be pissed off. … I was in bed with her and she was reading me one of those bedtime stories. And she did a dirty version of it. She was like, ‘Toad took Frog and mounted him from behind and amounted him smoothly with a rhythmic pace’.”
Russell Brand, of all people, dishing on what it was like to make out and share a bed with Arthur co-star, Jennifer Garner. Now I don’t know much about kissing ladies, but if someone compared my mouth to red velvet cake, I’d probably consider that a HUGE compliment. Except, you know, if it were Russell Brand. Because reformed sex-addict, Brand, probably compares the hose opening of an industrial-strength vacuum cleaner to red velvet cake – and I heard he and it were intimate friends for a long, long time.
Anyway, moral of the story?
From one asshat to another, Ben Affleck, take some pointers.
The second part of the interview (after Ben Affleck) is about Helen Mirren
Yeah, the dirty story was Helen Mirren, not Jennifer Garner.