Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Michael Lohan: Father of The Year!

A photo of Michael Lohan

Oh, were you looking for sarcasm here?  My apologies, but if you couldn’t tell by the certificate in the picture above, this is entirely sincere.

The Weekender recently did a little interview with Michael to coincide with his award, and try as I may, I just can’t find any sarcasm there, either.  It’s a legit interview where Daddy Lohan gives his usual “I’ve always loved my beautiful, talented, beautiful daughter so very much,” except for a few bits about Dina that I enjoyed:

Before Michael was the patriarch of the infamous Lohan clan, he was just a boy from Long Island who grew up to trade commodities on the New York Stock Exchange. Between drugs, alcohol, fast cars and a constant flow of money coming in, Lohan played as hard as he worked. However, he was about to meet someone at a party that would make him an honest man. While at a black-tie event, he decided to steal a bottle of champagne. The bottle fell from underneath his arm as he was scurrying toward the exit. As Lohan reached for the bottle, his head hit someone trying to help him. It was a young, beautiful woman. That’s how he met Dina.

“I miss the girl I fell in love with,” reminisced Lohan of ex-wife Dina. “She’s not the same person anymore.” It all started when he caught Dina’s 48-year-old brother smoking crack on the side of their garage. “Guess what your brother was doing,” Lohan asked his wife after finding her drinking a bottle of wine behind a plant in their bedroom the night of their son’s First Holy Communion party.

If you can’t appreciate the ridiculous notion of someone giving Michael Lohan a Father of the Year award, at least you can appreciate those little mental images – Dina the Wino curled up behind a plant with some booze, come on now.  And you married folks, I defy you to produce a story about how you met your spouse that even competes with Michael’s.

What do you guys think about this?  Do we just have a bad attitude about Michael over here, or are you just as appalled/amused about this little award as we are?

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