This is for all my fellow Real World/Road Rules die hards. Abram Boise AKA Abe from Road Rules: South Pacific was arrested in my home state of Massachusetts yesterday for public urination and that’s just where his long, bodily fluid filled adventure began.

From TMZ:

…law enforcement sources tell us he peed on the floor of the cell, was moved to a second one, and then he pooped in his hand and smeared it all over the wall of the second cell.

In case you give a crap, Abram is scheduled to be arraigned today.

Well, that’s some completely disturbing yet unsurprising news from one of the oddest and angriest Road Rules cast members of all time (and that’s saying something.) Abe has been showing shades of mental stability on the newer Real World/Road Rules Challenges, but this incident proves that he still hasn’t outgrown the bratty and entitled behavior that made his co-stars hate him so much.

Now I’m dying for more Real World/Road Rules updates. Where’s Veronica, that girl who stole Pua’s tank top? Can we track down Amaya or something? What about Melissa from New Orleans? I used to love her blog.

Homosexuals should officially be allowed to wed – because Amber Portwood‘s tying the knot. [The Superficial]

Helena Bonham Carter apparently had a stroke of some sort. [Lainey Gossip]

Charlie Sheen isn’t a drug addict, he’s actually just insane. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Lady Gaga‘s new ‘Born This Way’ video is predictably bland. [Earsucker]

New Dancing With the Stars cast announced! [TMZ]

So let’s talk some more about how TRULY FUCKING AWFUL James Franco and Anne Hathaway were as Oscar hosts, shall we? [ICYDK]

So … Ever wanted to know what Olivia Wilde looks like naked? [The Blemish]

Emma Roberts has a new boyfriend … one that all this time I thought was gay. [Betty Confidential]

Noel Fielding does Wuthering Heights? [OMGBlog]

Taylor Momsen wore this charming top with the declaration “I FUCK FOR SATAN” scrawled across it to a The Pretty Reckless gig in Toronto over the weekend. I’m surprised she’s not above wearing a statement tee, to be honest. I thought the whole, “I partake in sexual activity with the devil” was like, assumed at this point.

Ugh. I used to defend this girl. Now I just wish someone will take away her copy of The Runaways and give her a bath.

We already knew that Justin Bieber recently went into a LA mall and left with several large bags of Victoria’s Secret merchandise, but now an entire flower shop? Damn. Either Selena Gomez is holding out or she’s on some “Yeezy Taught Me” shit.

According to PopEater via TMZ, Justin called in such a large order into a florist that she had to use every last flower in her shop to fill it. Apparently Justin’s goal was to pack Selena’s LA home with flowers “just because.”

Aw, that’s actually pretty sweet.

And you know, I just gotta say it, I saw Never Say Never this weekend and it was innnncreeeeddibleee. I have a lazy eye and can’t even really do 3D, but I enjoyed the hell out of that movie and am now sold on Justin Bieber as a talented performer. Check that out if you’re a fan of success stories, music or even just documentaries. Totally entertaining.

How ’bout them Oscars?  I didn’t watch it – did you guys know that Netflix just added all the seasons of Roseanne to watch instantly? – but as you should know by now, I spend the wee hours of Monday morning sifting through celebrity tweets, looking for thematic links between relevant celebrities so you guys can be kept in the loop, and lucky for all of us, all people want to talk about right now are last night’s awards. I’m going to show you guys some tweets from a few of my very favorite dudes, and you let me know which sentiment is correct, all right?

Yeah, the Brits did pretty well for themselves, huh?  I’m not sure if that’s enough to make this the worst Oscars in history though … I don’t think that’s a good attitude for LeVar Burton to project.

I hope Wil Wheaton isn’t too nerdy of a celebrity for you guys, because I think he might have a pretty decent idea there.

Michael Ian Black is never wrong, so personally I’m going to vote for him.

I promised myself that this would not turn into a post about my obsession with Adrien Brody, and after only rewriting it FOUR TIMES, guys, I’m pleased to say that this post is not about Adrien Brody at all – it’s about the discomfort some celebrities feel when being confronted by other celebrities in public where there’s cameras at every angle and inch to catch their reactions. Just look at Sandra Bullock being approached by Mick Jagger – you know boyfriend wants a piece of it, but Sandra’s practically gagging at the smell of moth balls and formaldehyde that follows him around like a second shadow. And then there’s celebrities like the hot and amazing and way-way-way fuckable Adrien Brody. Face him with Billy Crystal and John Hawkes and he’s as cool as a motherfucking cucumber. And I mean, I’m a mother. And I could definitely take time out of my wicked busy day to sit down and discuss the specifics of what could be done with a cucumber-like appendage that Adrien more than likely has ownership of.