Grandizer on “Judd Apatow Said Some Mean Things About Ricky Gervais at The Producers Guild Awards“:
“Ohhhh, EGG on my face…Forgot the ANIMATION…. Sorry Tim!”

pufinstuf on “First Photos of Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John!“:
“I don’t understand the bathrobes thing. They usually take pictures of new moms in a bathrobe with the baby, implying she had the baby not too long ago and is still recuperating. But neither of these guys popped this baby out (obviously) so what is with the robes?”

Emily on “Love It or Leave It: Snooki’s Interpretation of ‘Classy’“:
“THE BIGGER THE HOOPS, THE BIGGER THE HOE.”

Kimber on “Love It or Leave It: Megan Fox Goes Topless for Armani“:
‘Yeah, it’s part of that trashy Marilyn Monroe tattoo. I do like how it looks like a malignant tumor in this photograph. Kind of like Megan Fox herself…”

evilbeetdouche on “Laurence Fishburne’s Slutty Daughter Faked a Suicide Attempt“:
“I SAID TAKE THE RED PILL!!!!!”

snarky mcgee on “The Jersey Shore Crew Really Knows How to Dream Big“:
“’Didn’t change the toilet paper’”? I thought you were supposed to line the Midgie-gunt’s cage with NEWSpaper! Judging by the pickles-dick-whipped cream stains in that sorry-ass Technicolor Dreamcoat weave, they’re going to need every section of the Sunday Times. MAMA MIA!! Vaffanculo, putanna! Fupa di Beppo!!!”

Scout on “Lady Gaga Asked That Her Perfume Smell Like ‘Blood and Semen‘”:
“Yawn. Might have been shocking in 1982 but now it just reminds me that I have a doctor’s apt. coming up.”

Maxx on “Kendra Wilkinson Has Another Sex Tape … And This One is With a Lady“:
“who is shocked that there’s a sex tape out? c’mon, it’s Kendra. If a box of rocks was sitting next to her it would be a tie for intelligence.”

Winner?

Can you guess which rapper got this absolutely ridiculous (and only slightly hilarious) Facebook-themed tattoo on his arm?

(more…)

LADIES, THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T TRUST MEN.

Shortly after her break-up from Chris Brown, Rihanna started dating basketball player Matt Kemp. The two were really cute together and seemed to be hitting it off great, which is why she probably felt comfortable sending him nude shots of herself.

Of course now the sexy pics have been leaked, making this the second time that RiRi has found herself in this position. Welcome to Kendra’s club, girl.

The nudes could be a lot worse. Her breasts aren’t exposed and her other lady bits are covered by a lace thong, but there’s no question that these photos were not meant for the public eye.

Be careful out there, ladies. And Justin Bieber.

After hearing the news that Scott Disick was hired to be a regular panelist on E!’s Fashion Police, I felt the need to open comments on the above photo.

Also, I’d like to open up comments on my theory that Scott’s probably a closeted homosexual. It’s not his preppy and often pink style that makes me think that, either. It’s his deep-rooted rage coupled with his dead eyes and what seems to be a general disconnection. It’s as if he’s so busy thinking about how he’d rather be plowing some dude than hanging out with his baby mama that he’s not even present.

And that makes me very interested in hearing him sound off on fashion while seated next to Joan Rivers. I’ll be watching every episode,  just waiting for him to crack.

Charlie Sheen had a very exciting week this week, as Charlie Sheen is apt to do.  I realize that many people ache for this kind of wild adventure, and because I sympathize with those people, I decided to take the events of Charlie Sheen’s week and use them to create a guide for you guys so you can have adventures of your very own.

Step One:  Come out of your regular coke haze long enough to realize that your popular television show is on hiatus for the week. Start getting pumped for shenanigans.

Step Two:  Chill until Tuesday night so you can be well rested for your 36-hour binger.

Step Three:  When Tuesday night rolls around, invite over a few porn stars, women of ill repute, one or two of your buddies, and a dude with a briefcase full of cocaine.

Step Four:  Before you get too wasted, be sure to do something creative that makes you happy – for instance, you could have a nice dinner with your realtor, some porn stars, and Vanna White’s ex-husband and make a deal to rent the former Mr. White’s estate for a few months so you can create a “porn family” just down the street from you.

Step Five:  Spend the next day and a half with those ladies, that briefcase full of cocaine, your booze, that happy dream of a porn family, and no remorse.

Step Six:  By Thursday morning, around 7 AM, it’s likely that your body isn’t going to be able to handle the full extent of Step Five, so make sure you have one of your ladies call an ambulance for you so you can be rushed to the hospital with “severe abdominal pains” or something along those lines.

Step Seven:  Find out that you have a hiatal hernia, “a condition in which a portion of the stomach protrudes upward into the chest, through an opening in the diaphragm.”  Spend most of Thursday recuperating in the hospital before going home later that night.

Step Eight:  Refuse rehab and make plans to go right back to work the next week so you can have all this fun again in the near future!

Here’s Charlie Sheen’s latest porn star, coked-out slam pig. She’s the best, you guys. [The Superficial]

Dude, Jessica Alba smiles. It must be close to the apocalypse. [Celebslam]

Amidst all of her chili cookoffs, Jessica Simpson launches an exercise tape. [popbytes]

Will Smith to produce Annie remake? [Pajiba]

Is Scarlett Johansson hooking up with Drew Barrymore’s on-again, off-again boyfriend Justin Long? [Celebitchy]

The real deal behind 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler’s split. [Allie is Wired]

Is Jennifer Aniston finally adopting a child? [Amy Grindhouse]

Why yes, Jersey Shore is going to Italy for its next season. The subtitle will be called “The Second Fall of the Roman Empire.” [Betty Confidential]

George Michael exclusive ‘Faith’ contest – get all the details here! [OMGBlog]

The latest updates on Charlie Sheen’s hospitalization. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Taylor Momsen thinks underage sex is totally natural. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

Charlie Sheen was hoarding briefcases full of cocaine. [TMZ]

Luke Perry and Jason Priestley team up on the small screen again. [Celebrity VIP Lounge]