Wanna see Kate Gosselin’s new crotch tattoo? [The Superficial]

You’ll never believe what Jennifer Aniston says about her ‘true love.’ [Celebitchy]

Just how far along is Natalie Portman – and is she showing already? [TMZ]

Snooki doesn’t want to be your role model. (But she will eat whatever you have in your fridge if you invite her over.) [TooFab]

Are Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake hooking up? [Amy Grindhouse]

So here’s Lindsay photographed, technically, for the first time since her big break from rehab, and I’m happy and sad all at once – now I get to stare at her face to figure out what’s different (did she get a rhinoplasty? A new, perky upturned nose? Or is that just from all the coke?) and get the warm fuzzies over what’s the same, but sad because it won’t be long that she’ll be running people down with her car and headbutting those who oppose her and maybe even being arrested and sued for peering into Sam Ronson’s kitchen windows, ’cause that thing right there is called ‘harrassment,’ ladies and gentlemen.

FFS, come on. A plane. A prolific television presence tries to bring a pipe on a plane. And doesn’t think he’s going to get busted for it one way or the other.

You know, I never understood the people who tried to bring drugs or paraphernalia on public planes after 9/11. Rules and regulations cracked down so much after the WTC and Pentagon events that I was afraid to bring a damned lighter onto the plane in 2004. And again in 2010 (but they didn’t care so much about my lighter or my matches in 2010, I’m afraid to say).

That being said, wanna hear the real fucked up part? The pot pipe, according to authorities, didn’t even have residue in it. It hadn’t even been used. Montel probably picked it up in one of Wisconsin’s many headshops (not that I’d know about those or anything) as a souvenir or something. Second kicker? Boyfriend has also had a prescription for medical marijuana for the past few years.

That aside, all I know is that bringing – or even trying to bring – something that could be construed as drug paraphernalia onto an aircraft these days isn’t crafty, sneaky or bold – it’s just stupid. Put it in your checked luggage and hope for the best.  If not, you’re going to get busted, dude, and it’s setting a bad example for more impressionable people who don’t have scripts for the medical gange. Not to mention, you kind of look a tiny, tiny bit like our President. It’s not a cool message to be sending to countries around the world who don’t know who you are, but who are now having grand old times seeing your face plastered next to drug bust headlines.

Just days after John Mellencamp announced his divorce with his partner of twenty or so years, confirmations from mutual friends claim that Mellencamp and Meg Ryan are massively in love – so much in love that they’re already like the old married couple that Ryan may or may not have had a hand in breaking up.

I don’t know, really, if anyone under the age of 60 is really going to care about this union (no disrespect to our old heads), but I will say about this – Meg Ryan, John Mellencamp? Really? Meg Ryan? Good old sweetheart fucking-wrecked-her-face of the eighties? Ryan stopped being cool and cute when her head started resembling Melanie Griffiths’ greasy, massive, and pulsating lips. And that was even before she tried – however unsuccessfully – to be an A-lister-by-association again with her random banging of Russell Crowe.

If it’s love, it’s love, John. They say love is blind, and I’ve known it to be true in the past, but I didn’t know it was deaf and dumb to famesuckers, too.

Break out the hankies, watch for a few ‘Jake is gay’ rumors to fly low, and get some earplugs – because you just know that girlfriend’s going to release a Jake-dedicated song in the coming months.

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal have called it quits on their two-month-old relationship, and, according to sources, also claim that the couple stopped seeing each other last month. Cripes man, it’s Taylor Swift here. How did we not know. We know, by a random break into song, whenever a generic car parts salesman accidentally looks her way.  The people responsible for this big cover-up?  Probably the same people behind the Kennedy assassination.

I like Taylor’s virginal and innocent persona a lot – her music, eh, not so much – but the breakup is probably for the best. She seems to write her best songs when she’s been smited, and as you all know, there’s a market for practically everything out there these days. Inquiring minds wanna know, you know?

Sorry about the imminent heartbreak, guys, it must have been rough – but note to Taylor? This is why you don’t let things like this leak after only one date. It’s embarrassing when things go south so quickly, isn’t it?

If you were one of the biggest jokes in your industry, would you wait months and months to share that you were responsible for one of the biggest pop hits of the year? That’s what Soulja Boy supposedly did.

While the “Pretty Boy Swag” singer’s own album “DeAndre’s Way” was considered to be a flop by most, Soulja is claiming on his Twitter that he was behind Willow Smith’s hit, “Whip My Hair”. If this is true, then SB definitely has a reason to harbor all that swag. The dude (who is not credited anywhere on Willow’s album) should have pulled in some serious cash for his lyrics.

I’m guessing that this is not true, just a joke that’s as awkward as the rest of his career. I’m guessing we’ll hear the truth from Willow’s camp sooner rather than later. If Soulja Boy’s not responsible for this song, I’m pretty sure no one who was actually involved would want him taking credit.