Today, I woke up and my internet connection was slower than Lance Armstrong’s package in a two-testicled race because I live out in the beachside boonies where the best internet service providers go by the wicked generic name of ‘Mediacom.’ And because we got two inches of ice last night, coupled with the fact that MEDIACOM BLOWS GOATS (DO YOU HEAR THAT, MEDIACOM?), sitting here with my laptop waiting to establish a connection faster than 1MBps is like watching paint dry, just .. duller.
As for the video, I’m the first to say that I absolutely detest the show Glee, but I’m willing to admit that this total cornball move of a video totally made my morning – but only because it’s the first thing that’s run on my connection today that hasn’t incurred a debilitating interruption.
I know that the big thing these days is for men to grow their hair and their beards and what not (my husband is going through the phase right now and I have to say – it’s hot hot hot), but some celebrities – like Tom Brady – don’t look so good. And by ‘don’t look so good,’ I mean they ‘look like a demented serial killer who slicks his hair back with motor oil and has a pretty serious underbite FOR SOME PRETTY SERIOUS BITING.’
I also get the feeling that as John Mayer ages, he’s going to look a lot like Jerry Garcia. And while that is a sad, unfortunate testament to good old Jerry, it’s even worse for John. Why? Because John probably SMELLS the way that good old Jerry does. Like, this very minute as he continues to decompose in his early grave, God rest his soul.
So a lot of the crazy prudes on the ‘net are crying that Kendall Jenner’s photo shoot for Marc Clark’s new t-shirt line is inappropriate. You know what I think was inappropriate? Kendall Jenner’s photo shoot of this past summer, where she frolicked like a Kardashian sex kitten in a bikini on the beach. Fully clad in crappy t-shirts that will probably end up selling on clearance at Forever 21? Totally appropriate.
If you guys have forgotten, I’ll remind you: Kendall Jenner is fifteen. While she could better be served (and serve) doing things like using her weird fame allure to, I don’t fucking know, spread knowledge of safe sex in high schools (oh wait, that’d probably get her thrown under the bus, too) or what, playing Barbie dolls in her backyard (that appropriate for you?), it’s hella better than writhing on sandy beaches, clothed in not much more than a few pieces of lycra and elastic as a high school freshman.
People want to be pissed about something aside from her t-shirt photo shoot? I’d be more outraged that this girl’s walking around with an over-inflated sense of self-importance, because let’s not kid ourselves – the last thing we need is another Kardashian or Miley Cyrus.
Hey! Before you all pigpile on me in the comments for making fun of babies, let me clarify: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s twin girls are majorly adorable, but with two actors making up their DNA, it’s no surprise that they’re so animated. Especially whichever one it is that Sarah The Wilting Flower‘s holding. They’re twins. You expect me to be able to tell them apart? Please. No one can. I feel like if you took off their little Ugg boots you’d find their names written on the bottom on their feet in Crayola marker just like they did when Jesse and Becky had twins on Full House.
Anyway, this baby’s faces gave me more chuckles than any LOLCat I’ve laid my eyes on recently, so click through to see what else she’s got…
The above video was posted to Timbaland’s YouTube account last night by the man himself and it’s basically a two minute video of the super producer begging Demi to work with him. He even plays a short sample of the song that he wrote for her to perform with him and it sounds like a complete departure from anything we’ve heard him do in the past, but a really solid teeny bopper pop hit.
Timb says he came across Demi’s stuff on YouTube and was blown away by her voice and personality and immediately got excited about the idea of working with her. I’m not sure if people just a handful of years younger than me realize this, but Timbaland is THE BEST. He’s responsible for all those practically unparalleled Missy Elliott and Aaliyah jams from back in the day and his own stuff always kills it, too.
The way Jessica Simpson used to freak out over Dolly Parton? That’s what Demi should be doing right now in the rec room of her rehab facility. It’s her career Chirstmas as far as I’m concerned.
Oh, what questionable ideas came from Jesus Christ himself? That you are to treat others as you would want to be treated? Pretty sure it’s written in islamic law that you can marry a pre-pubescent girl if you’re a...
your comment only confirms the idea that you’re an idiot that supported the idea of this no talent slut being a part of music. She’s in the business because you wanted it. Now she’s a dried up hack, & you support the...
Yeah, it’s a really bad outfit… I guess each item of clothing could’ve looked OK on its own, but there…oh man this is just a total mismatch! And someone needs to tell the girl...
As a huge Dylan fan it’s hard to hear this, but then again, it’s hard to hear most covers of great music/musicians—rarely do covers measure up. That being said, there are few notes in Miley’s cover...
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