But beautiful faces.  Seriously, I almost cried when I saw this picture of Michelle Williams.  I don’t care for the dress so much, but ugh, her lovely face makes up for everything.

Peruse the gallery to see Emma Stone and Amy Adams looking nearly unrecognizable, a kouple (ha) of the Kardashian sisters looking trashy, Mila Kunis rocking the fuck out of a pretty ok dress, Mandy Moore surprising me by wearing my favorite dress of the bunch, and so much more.  Also, if you’re into tuxes or, you know, beautiful men, there’s Ryan Gosling and Jon Hamm infiltrating your computer screens with their sheer suavity.  Justin Bieber makes a surprise appearance with a dumb mustache.  There’s truly something for everyone here.

Oh, and do you guys care about the actual awards at all?  If so, then …

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“I was shooting a video on one of the big American plots – six hours I was there and I wasn’t doing anything. So I convinced someone to let me drive a golf buggy. I ran the battery out by the end of the day. P Diddy must have been doing a fragrance advert or something. I was in the buggy with a mate and I saw him. I meant to put the brake on and go, ‘Oh, you’re P Diddy!’ But I hit the accelerator. He had to dive out the way. As we went past I was like, ‘You’re P Diddy’. He just said, ‘Yeah, I know’. I almost, almost killed him.”

I don’t listen to Adele or anything, but I’m starting to think that I should.  Any girl that comes that close to plowing down P. Diddy deserves a chance.  And that’s not because I hate P. Diddy, that’s because every damn time “I’ll Be Missing You” comes on the radio, for a hot minute I think it’s “Every Breath You Take,” and it’s immeasurably disappointing, and someone needs to pay for that.

Ok, “worthless” might be a little strong, but so is this deep sense of betrayal I have.  Because listen, I used to love Glee. I’d have little viewing parties throughout the first season, I got all the albums, I loved that cheesy musical nonsense.  But you guys, Lea Michele ruined everything with her awful attitude and her racy, attention whore photo shoots and her annoying acting. She ruined it, and I’m not going to forgive her anytime soon.

Anyway, all these feelings came right back up when I saw this little interview Lea did:

On Broadway’s upcoming revival of Funny Girl and how she hasn’t been approached to do it: “No — where are the calls? Where are these calls? I mean if you don’t know my obsession with Funny Girl … of course, Fanny Brice is me.  I feel very connected to that story.”

On being beautiful: “Working on Glee, playing Rachel Berry has made me feel more beautiful than I have ever felt in my whole life. I go on that red carpet because I now know that true beauty comes from inside. So as long as I’m happy, I put these clothes on. If they like them, they like them. If they don’t, what you going to do?”

On looking like a high schooler: “[I'm] looking younger. Don’t you guys think? I’m just looking younger as the days go by. For me, I’m fortunate that I feel like I look young. As long as the viewers are believing it, then I’ll take it.”

Lea might as well be saying “Yeah, I really enjoy slapping kittens on their little faces and then using their tails and their little baby paws to stir up the meth I cook in my bathtub,” because that’s what it feels like to me.  Maybe it’s her phrasing, maybe it’s because it’s early and I spent yesterday talking to useless robots at Dell and mourning Natalie Portman, but I am all kinds of over it.  What about you guys?

And by “true beauty,” of course I mean “startling and horrifying lip injections.”

Can you guys please give me some insight?  I’m at a loss with our favorite 24-year-old crackhead over here.  I mean, I get the alcoholism and the unhealthy relationship with her family and the reTweeting Tom Cruise.  I certainly don’t condone it, but I can see where she’s coming from.  What is completely beyond me, however, is how someone can check out those lips in a mirror and think “oh yeah, this is the look I’ve been dreaming of.”  You guys can check out the gallery and get back to me, ok?

Photos via Yeeeah

So we here at Evil Beet have decided to turn things back around on you guys and feature your fanciest unpleasantries right here on the site to show you just how funny you are. If you made the list, good on you – share it on Facebook and brag that you finally got some love back from the site that you’ve been stalking for four years, and if you didn’t make the list this time? Dust your sorry self off, pick it on up off the ground and try, try again. We’re equal-opportunity humiliators here at Evil Beet and we intend to keep doing this for a long, long time.

Without much – or further – ado, this week’s best comments from our readers:

Gen on Love It or Leave It: John Mayer Grows His Hair All Pretty:
“Mayer looks how Colin Farrel looked the first time I realized that he would probably fuck my little sister while smelling like the garbage bin outside an Indian restaurant.”

Barbara Botox on “Glee Does Funny or Die“:
“I have never watched GLEE so I cannot say this with complete authority but I likewise detest GLEE. or at the very least, the idea of GLEE. the take-over of GLEE. so if this website got very many comments anymore i’d suppose that you’d have some angry comments from the GLEEKS as they call themselves, and so i suppose i just wanted to stand up for you. that is all.”

Conceived at the shallow end of the gene pool on “News You Can Use“:
“I was not prepared at all for this photo. I believe I shall toddle off now, indulge in a cocktail and restore my sensibilities. Are you sure that this is not some secret weapon that the US intends to use in Afghanistan? It has the potential of proving more powerful than the Arc of the Covenant, which is reported to have laid waste to entire regions, or staring into the eyes of Medusa which turned even the most powerful creature into stone…”

Erin on “Love It or Leave It: Britney’s New-ish Weave“:
“I’m confused. Are the bits dangling around the sides her natural hair? Surely it’s long enough now to forgo the weave? Maybe she’s got it falling out in chunks from stress?”

Mireee on “Check Out Kanye West’s Kanye West Watch (Feat. Kanye West“:
“Bloody hell that is some watch.”

Maxx on “Sting and His Wife Want You to Know That They Still Have a Lot of Sex“:
“The last line is the key. Sting’s road travels and almost certain repeated episodes with the company of other men has to take some of the load off of his wife, right?”

Muttley Macclad on “Quotables: Snooki is Tired of Being Called Snooki“:
“Dayem she is foul.. and she has a gunt…”

Winner?

Yes! As if Friday could be any better, the new preview for the fourth season of The Real Housewives of New York City has hit the web, along with promotional photos of the cast, and it looks GOOD. Nothing will ever top the first season where Jill and Bethenny were BFF, but it looks like this new installment could make up for the last couple of seasons.

Let’s see what we learned from this here clip:

1) The ladies go on a trip to Morocco where they act like a bunch of fish out of water, draped in designer clothes and complaining about the heat.

2) Countess LuAnn has found love again. Maybe that’s why she didn’t notice her daughter’s penchant for sparkin’ doobies and slinging the n-word around? (more…)