Maybe if it were ten or fifteen years ago and you said ‘Gwyneth Paltrow’ and ‘crotch shot’ in the same sentence, you’d get a lot of people hot, bothered, and interested. Today, however? The crotch shot of the day was brought to you by La Goop herself, and the words ‘goop’ and ‘crotch’ don’t exactly complement one another, I’m quite sorry to say.

But sigh. I know I’ve got to do my job, and I wouldn’t be helping you help yourself if I didn’t pass along photographic evidence that Gwyneth Paltrow is a human being first, and a woman second, so here it is after the jump.

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This is a very sad ending to a very sad story.

In late November, you may have heard the news that French Model, Isabelle Caro, who was famous for her battle with anorexia, passed away at the age of 28. This afternoon we’ve learned that her mother, Marie Caro, has taken her own life. The model’s step-father has already spoken out about his wife’s death and said that she was suffering from enormous guilt after putting her daughter in the hospital where she ultimately died.

The model’s step-dad was quoted as saying, “[Marie] felt guilty for having put my daughter in the Bichat Hospital. My daughter did not want to go to that hospital.”

He later added that he believed his daughter’s death was due to the the hospital’s negligent staff.

I’ve got no snark for ya here. This story kills me. We joke around about eating disorders here from time to time (we write celebrity gossip, obviously weight is a constant topic of conversation), but anorexia is a serious condition and its effects are as wide-reaching as drug abuse or any other kind of addiction.

If you or someone you know is suffering from anorexia, please know that help is available.

I was just reading up on Jodie Sweetin‘s engagement to some bro named Morty Coyle (dorkiest name ever) and I wanted to share with you this list of “facts” that People.com printed about the former meth head and child actor’s fiance:

1. He’s a musician – and more
Though often pegged simply as a Hollywood deejay, Coyle, 42, not only spins and mixes, but he’s also a musician. He got his start singing in a band called the Imposters, which regularly played the Viper Room and the Roxbury. Hollywood born-and-bred, Coyle’s now in a band called All Day Sucker, and he performs at regular Tuesday night jam sessions with The F.O.C.K.R.’s (Friends of Canter’s Kibitz Room) in L.A., where he proposed. It’s also how he met Sweetin nearly two years ago. “One night I went to see a mutual friend play and Morty and I started hanging out and later dated,” says Sweetin. “We sort of couldn’t help it. It was just right.”

2. He didn’t watch his future sweetie on Full House
While his now-fiancé was winning hearts on an ABC “TGIF”s sitcom, Coyle had other plans. “I was trying to sneak out of the house on Friday nights,” he jokes. “I was at a different age. Sometimes I forget that people grew up with her.” When Coyle catches a rerun now, though, he’s on his own. “Jodie cannot watch herself on television,” he says. “It’ll come on and I’ll go, ‘Hey, look at what you’re wearing!’ And she’ll walk by, like, ‘Ah, yeah.’ ” (more…)

Speaking of folks “pulling a Britney”, Mila Kunis was caught looking an awful lot like the trashy pop princess during downtime at a photo shoot in LA yesterday. The Black Swan actress sucked down a venti iced beverage with a familiar green straw and puffed away on a cig. Later she threw her hair up in a sloppy bun and munched on a sandwich.

These photos are a day-maker because not only do they remind me so much of the legendary Ms. Spears during her notorious 2006-2008 meltdown, but also because they reinforce what I’ve always thought about Mila: Deep down she’s kind of a trashy ho.  And I love trashy hos.

In a shocking move, Pete Wentz has decided to ditch the hair straightener and the tears for a more natural look.  What do we think? At first, I was like “hope you love it, Pete, but you look a hot damn mess,” but upon further consideration, I think it’s good.  I think it’s indicative of a new era of Pete Wentz, one that doesn’t involve dick pics and looking suicidal.  And that’s an era I can believe in.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I adore Pete Wentz.  Maybe it’s because Fall Out Boy got big when I was 15 and very impressionable, maybe it’s because I have that thing for gingers and hipsters, but I am an unapologetic fan.  Is anyone with me?

No?  Ok, well check out all of the pictures of Pete and his adorable child, then get back to me with the condition of your cold, cold heart.

Macaulay Culkin rebounds with a porn star, becomes kind of hot. [The Superficial]

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are, self-admittedly, not small. Take that whatever way you want. [Celebslam]

Q: Why does Katie Holmes look so bummed all of the time? A: Tom Cruise apparently sedates her. [PopBytes]

You’ll never believe who the new Catwoman is going to be. [Pajiba]

Pete Wentz grows an afro. [Celebitchy]

This is a good fucking idea: Noah Cyrus has her own Twitter account. [Allie is Wired]

Watch Octomom’s fetish video here. If you dare. And I dare you. Just … after lunch. Or as a boner-kill. [Amy Grindhouse]

Rob Lowe: Still totally hot, coming back to primetime TV. [Betty Confidential]

A literary illustration of Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’ – pretty fucking awesome. [OMGBlog]

Serena Williams and Common engaged? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd: the latest man-ho in a prostitution ring? [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

Do you love Rihanna’s new Simpsons-inspired ‘do? [TMZ]