Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Snark Sagas: Cutting Comments From the Congregation

photo of lindsay lohan laughing in a car with ex girlfriend samantha ronson pictures

Grandizer on “Judd Apatow Said Some Mean Things About Ricky Gervais at The Producers Guild Awards“:
“Ohhhh, EGG on my face…Forgot the ANIMATION…. Sorry Tim!”

pufinstuf on “First Photos of Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John!“:
“I don’t understand the bathrobes thing. They usually take pictures of new moms in a bathrobe with the baby, implying she had the baby not too long ago and is still recuperating. But neither of these guys popped this baby out (obviously) so what is with the robes?”

Emily on “Love It or Leave It: Snooki’s Interpretation of ‘Classy’“:
“THE BIGGER THE HOOPS, THE BIGGER THE HOE.”

Kimber on “Love It or Leave It: Megan Fox Goes Topless for Armani“:
‘Yeah, it’s part of that trashy Marilyn Monroe tattoo. I do like how it looks like a malignant tumor in this photograph. Kind of like Megan Fox herself…”

evilbeetdouche on “Laurence Fishburne’s Slutty Daughter Faked a Suicide Attempt“:
“I SAID TAKE THE RED PILL!!!!!”

snarky mcgee on “The Jersey Shore Crew Really Knows How to Dream Big“:
“’Didn’t change the toilet paper’”? I thought you were supposed to line the Midgie-gunt’s cage with NEWSpaper! Judging by the pickles-dick-whipped cream stains in that sorry-ass Technicolor Dreamcoat weave, they’re going to need every section of the Sunday Times. MAMA MIA!! Vaffanculo, putanna! Fupa di Beppo!!!”

Scout on “Lady Gaga Asked That Her Perfume Smell Like ‘Blood and Semen‘”:
“Yawn. Might have been shocking in 1982 but now it just reminds me that I have a doctor’s apt. coming up.”

Maxx on “Kendra Wilkinson Has Another Sex Tape … And This One is With a Lady“:
“who is shocked that there’s a sex tape out? c’mon, it’s Kendra. If a box of rocks was sitting next to her it would be a tie for intelligence.”

Winner?

{democracy:77}

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • Oh gee-golly-jeepers I’m just so honored!

    First off I would like to thank God, because if he wasn’t such an asshole to me, I might not have a sense of humor.

    Secondly I would like to thank my cat, because he laughs at everything I say.

    And Last, of course, you guys!