I haven’t thought of just how yet, but this bitch will be done. Ruination by cheap, imitation flat iron or even an embarrassing eHarmony exposé. Something. Something, we’ll see. It’s on.
I know that I kind of explode a little bit when I find out that my very own Brody is rumored to be dating anyone, but for him to be dating my Hollywood nemesis, the object of all my celebrity-related snarky mocking? It’s not the type of news that I wanted to wake up to – in fact, this makes for a really fucking bad Tuesday morning.
According to Showbiz Spy, Brody and Aniston were caught getting cozy with one another – probably at a launch of another stupid, sparkly Jennifer Aniston-themed perfume that fucking no one’s gonna wear, because who the hell wants to smell like desperation and salty unshed tears anyway? – but that’s aside from the point:
“Jen and Adrien were flirting with each other outrageously — you could totally tell that they’re an item. At one point, Adrien was leading Jen away in hand. She was rubbing her hands down his back and gazing into his eyes like she was totally smitten. Jen is definitely very taken by Adrien, who has been a close acquaintance of hers for a long time. He’s a charming, intelligent guy who has no pretensions about him whatsoever, so Jen always feels at ease in his company. And besides the fact he isn’t insecure about her success, she loves the dangerous, edgy side to him. He exudes this rugged sex appeal that Jen gravitates towards. But she needs to be careful.”
First of all, Jen gives that ‘smitten’ look to any male that makes eye contact with her. I heard her mailman had to be reassigned to a different route because she creeped him out so bad. And that was a mailman. Come on, Adrien! Like, it’s actually pretty simple. If you’re not going to cave, meet my incessant demands and contacts to your agent to start sharing my bed (even for a few minutes, I promise thatsallineed) stat, then at least pick a cool chick to bone. Because Jennifer Aniston, man. That’s just embarrassing for you, and frankly, I don’t know how much more disappointment I can take today.
Since when does Adrien Brody have a “dangerous, edgy side?”