The official commemorative coin celebrating the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton has been released and while the coin (pictured above) clearly says the couple’s names, I’m pretty sure those people on it aren’t them. Prince William’s jawline was done a favor by the artist responsible for the coin’s design, but Kate? Man, that is a brutal depiction of a really pretty girl.

Shockingly enough, the coin’s design was approved by the couple as well as Queen Elizabeth. Is Kate’s self-esteem so low that she would look at that puffy-faced golden lady and say, “Oh, yeah. That’s me”? Homegirl better learn to stand up for herself, especially in that family. No one else is, obviously.

Chloe Sevigny recently did an interview with Playboy where she dissed socialite Peaches Geldof for being largely useless, and now Peaches is fighting back on Twitter and hinting that Chloe’s beef with her is over something more personal.

Here’s what Chloe said about Peaches in the interview:

PLAYBOY: In a 1994 Jay McInerney New Yorker article you were crowned the “It girl” and “the coolest girl in the world.” Did having style help or hurt?

SEVIGNY: I guess it helped more than anything else. I’m glad I grew up during the last vestige of cool, in the 1990s, when everything wasn’t blogged and on the Interwebs, when things were more on the downlow and underground. I guess I am stylish, but I would rather have people come up and say “I really liked your performance in this or that” than “I really like the way you dress.” That irks me. Anyway, the term It girl gets used too loosely.

PLAYBOY: How do you mean?

SEVIGNY: Today the term is used to describe, say, Peaches Geldof—a girl who doesn’t do anything but is just sort of around. The original It girl was the 1920s movie star Clara Bow; then, in the 1960s, with Edie Sedgwick and Warhol, It girls turned into socialites, ladies of leisure—people who had “it” just for being “fabulous.” But Edie was just a rich drug addict, and when I got called the It girl everyone thought I was that too. I looked like a junkie because it was the 1990s and grunge was the fashion. But I felt I was doing stuff, not just being a socialite.

A little mean, but whatever. Peaches should be used to those kind of remarks by now, and if she’s not, then she should probably find something better to do with her time beside date Eli Roth and have her photo taken, right? But instead of taking the high road, Peaches turned to her Twitter and wrote Chloe a public note:

Innnnnnnnnnteresting. So Peaches is claiming that Chloe’s issue has nothing to do with that whole “being useless” thing I mentioned earlier. It’s over someone or something with the initials MM. Micky Mouse? Michael Moore? Is it me, Molly McAleer? God, I hope so.

These two totally hang around similar circles and have most likely shared everything from men to designer dresses. The fact that there’s personal weirdness between the two of them comes as no surprise…So who/what do we think this mysterious MM is?

And just as quickly as it began, the marriage of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson is officially over. Well, officially on it’s way to being over. We heard a little over a week ago that the two were separated, and just yesterday Ryan filed divorce papers in Los Angeles. According to his documents, the two began their separation on December 14th.

I dunno, normally splits aren’t this clean. A two week span between separation and divorce seems a little bit dramatic. I have to wonder if the two were ever really happy together and how bad things got before they pulled the trigger on the break up. They’ve been seen eating lunch together since deciding to end things, so you know it wasn’t a nasty situation… but why not keep trying to make it work? Something must have gone down.

If it’s a day ending in ‘y,’ there’s another racy picture leak of another former Disney starlet. This week, for your pleasure, Miley Cyrus and her assistant.

As you can see in the above photo, the chick to Miley’s left thinks it’s a safe place to be hanging out that close to girlfriend’s chest with her tongue hanging out, but what she doesn’t realize is that those things explode frequently, much like the Howlers in Harry Potter. If you have no idea what I’m on about, you’re just not cool. Sorry. It’s a hard reality to face sometimes, but hey. Whoever said life was easy?

Really though, work on that face, Miley – your pictures might be more impressive and sexual (I mean, that is what you’re going for, right?) if you didn’t look like a confused, inbred monkey who suffered through a brief bout of bad orthodontia.

Wonder where Brit’s heading for the holidays!

She and boyfriend Jason Trawick were photographed last night at JFK airport in NYC looking all comfy and stuff. I know that’s how I travel – comfy. And light.

She looks … good, doesn’t she?

You guys chose Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin to split in ’11, and you also named her and Martin for one of the recent blind items (don’t you just love those fucking things), and here’s some more fodder to add to the growing list indicating that Paltrow and Martin’s marriage is over: Miss Smarmy Goopy Private Pants is dishing on old relationships – like, Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt old. We’re talking, what, ’97? ’98? Someone’s apparently looking to stir up some publicity for some ‘unknown’ reason if you ask me.

According to E!, Gwen claims that being in a relationship with both Affleck and Pitt was ‘strange’:

“It was strange to be part of a public couple.”

She also claims that though she was practically Hollywood royalty, what with being the golden child of Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow, she still worked hard for her money to party with Robert Kennedy Jr. and his sharp-shouldered cohorts. Gwen claims that daddy still wouldn’t line her pockets in light of who she was palling around with, either:

“I would say ‘Dad, I can’t go out to dinner, I have no money,’ and he would say ‘you’re welcome to come over here and eat at our house anytime, but I’m not giving you money for your social life.”

Gwen’s mother, apparently part of the interview, interjects and states:

“We could have paid for everything and had a spoiled kid. [But] I think it’s really important for people to work hard.”

Yeah, I agree. Totally. Which is why I’m so confused as to how your daughter turned out to be a self-centered, sanctimonious little turd that prides herself on comments of ‘do this, not that.’

Sorry, Gwen, but if this little interview was supposed to make people feel like you’re more than a fame-seeking robot with extra-good skin, it failed. By bringing up your sex history with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck, arguably two of the hottest men in Hollywood at one point, it only made me yearn for the more simple days of celebrity gossip like 1995 – when Seven was a box-office hit, Brad Pitt hadn’t even thought of boning Angelina Jolie yet and was still riding the coattails of Legends of the Fall‘s fame (loved that fucking movie), and when Kevin Spacey the serial killer handed over your head in a box.