Are any of you guys comic book nerds?  If so, get ready, because in March your Justice League* will get a brand new member – none other than Ms. Spears herself.  Let’s check out her storyline:

“Britney Spears — the most famous superstar of the 21st century. What does it take to reach those heights in the Internet Age? What are the hidden costs when every move makes the headlines? More than an entertainment powerhouse. More than a dancer and musician. Britney Spears is a survivor!”

Interesting angle, that “survivor” business.  If it were me, I’d have gone a much more Incredible Hulk-esque route.  Like there would be a couple of pages of Britney in the Mickey Mouse Club, and then in the whole “…Baby One More Time” era, and there would be a major emphasis on how adorable and innocent she was.  And then, in lieu of any gamma ray accidents, there would be a Justin Timberlake semen accident (this opens the door for spin-offs, see?), because Justin Timberlake’s semen is so powerful that it alters the DNA.  I’m not going to spoil the rest of the story for you, but rest assured that there would be panels of “Umbrella!  BAM!  BIFF! ZOWIE!”

What would you want to see included in Britney Spears’ comic book?

*Settle down, nerds, I know Britney’s not DC.

This story is blowing my mind a little.

WABC’s Heidi Jones (you may recognize her from when she fills in on Good Morning America) was arrested after she was forced to admit to police that she lied about being raped earlier this year. In her initial report, Heidi said that she was running in Central Park when she was attacked and then raped by a Hispanic man. When the cops found absolutely no evidence supporting her rape claim, she came clean and said that she made the entire story up. According to Heidi, she thought that saying she was raped might get her a little bit of public sympathy since she was going through some unknown personal issues in her private life. Can you even imagine that kind of logic? “Things are tough at home, so I’ll just lie about being raped so that the public will make me feel good about myself.”

Disgusting.

Heidi faces up to one year in jail or a $1000 fine if convicted, but I’m hoping she gets the year in jail. She needs to made made an example of. Lying about rape anywhere, but especially in a large city like New York where actual rapes that need to be investigated are happening all the time, is completely sinister and a massive disservice to all of mankind. This doesn’t just affect female victims of rape, it affects everyone who knows them creating a chain reaction throughout our society. She should be ashamed of herself.

I’m thinking something like, ‘Gonna be a little bit tough to whip this hair back and forth.’

I don’t effing know – it’s hard because she’s ten. It’s not as if I can go off and completely snark out on her, right?

Don’t answer that.

Kevin Federline is still working the whole, “Remember when I used to be married to a very famous person who kind of publicly lost her mind?” angle. Of course we do, Kevin. We wouldn’t remember you from anything else.

In this new anti-drunk driving commercial for “common sense”, “actor/rapper/dancer/model”, Federline says, “An ex-wife of mine once told me that we needed to use more Common Sense. Now we can.”

Which wife was that, Kevin? Shar Jackson? The other mother of your children, Britney Spears? *rolling my eyes*

I just saw the Kardashian/Jenner Chirstmas card on my Tumblr dashboard and I had to share it with you. It’s a gorgeous photo in many ways (I don’t think I’ve ever seen folks drag out that sort of wardrobe for a holiday snapshot) but it’s also BEYOND AWKWARD. Let’s make a list of all the ways this skeeves us, shall we?

1)Why is Kylie Jenner allowed to wear that dress? That’s the very first thing that pops out at me. She’s a young teen girl, and while embracing your curves in a dress like that is totally appropriate for someone just a handful of years older than her, it’s absolutely crazy that she’s allowed to wear that now. Insane. Just looking at that thing is making me have visions of my mother chasing me up the stairs, telling me that there was no way I was going to leave the house at fifteen in a leopard tube dress.

2) Oh, who’s that on the side there? Some neighbors who decided to pop by? Oh, wait– That’s the oldest Kardashian daughter, her son and his father? Oh. Because by the way that they’re practically standing in the backyard compared to the rest of the family, I would have never guessed that they’re wanted there.

3) Mean faces, huh? Really? Is angry stone-face the new smile?

Did I miss anything?

So the first crappy, low-quality photo of Nicole Richie in her wedding dress with her new husband has hit the ‘nets, and of course, People magazine was the first to run it. (Yay for you, People, but come on.  I know you’re hoarding the good stuff over there, so give.  it.  up.)

I love the dress – which was apparently inspired by Grace Kelly’s wedding gown of yesteryear. It was positively breathtaking, and from what I can see of Nicole’s hair and makeup, she looks amazingly beautiful.