“I have to be happy for Levi’s new relationship because it sounds like his new girlfriend is influencing him to want to actually spend time with Tripp. I sincerely appreciate her influence because [Levi] hasn’t asked to see Tripp in over five months, so I’m happy for this new development!”

- Bristol on ex-boyfriend Levi’s new lady.

By the way, the question in the title of this post was silly, of course she’s passive aggressive.  This little statement is almost as bad as the one I heard when my college roommate’s boyfriend tried to break up with her in our room (I was initially asleep, but I woke up thanks to the sobs and the conversation that lasted two hours) and she responded with “I asked God about us, and he said that we were going to be together forever.  Don’t you make God a liar.”  But I guess we can’t blame Bristol too much.  The delusional apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I know you guys are just super, super pumped for Country Strong, and since I love you, I decided to share this new clip from the movie.  In it, you can check out Gwyneth gyrate around like she knows what she’s doing, do the most halfhearted shimmy I’ve ever seen, and undoubtedly flash her vag to the entire audience, who are the real actors in this affair – it must be so tough to pretend to enjoy this performance.

I’ve been heavily involved in theatre for a good few years, and I was born and raised in The Birthplace of Country Music, so I feel pretty confident in my knowledge in both of these areas. And what Gwyneth is doing is not good.  I’ve seen Dolly Parton perform and I’ve seen a girl break a door frame with her ass while attempting to do a jazz square. Guess which one of those situations Gwyneth reminds me of more?

So Angie’s out promoting The Tourist, and Brad was promoting Megamind there for a bit, so the couple has been out and about a lot recently.  I posted about the first time this happened, and I got my feelings out, and everything was good. Then it happened again, and I was mildly unsettled, but I ignored it.  Then it happened again, and I was going to address the issue, but I think Ryan Gosling was being beautiful that day.  But then this happened.  And by “this,” I mean that ridiculous dress you see above.  And that’s when I knew it would be criminal to ignore this any longer.

Have you ever met anyone who had a velvet problem?  It’s pretty disconcerting.  I mean, I can take a blazer every now and then, but harem pants and a dress with built in gloves? It’s gone way too far.  And you can disagree all you want, you can say that I’m making something out of nothing, that’s fine, but if you do, then you’re part of the problem just look at the pictures of Brad.

As you can see in that darling video, a bunch of kids were just going about their business, having their school’s Christmas concert, when Bruce Cohen, a producer of the Academy Awards, came in to warm them up before Anne Hathaway made her beautiful appearance to let them know that if it was cool with them, they were going to just go on out to L.A. in February to do a little performance at the Oscars.

You guys, this is the perfect example of a Christmas miracle. And you can have a Hanukkah miracle or a Kwanzaa miracle or a late December miracle, it’s all great, but come on now.  You look at those precious kids absolutely flipping their shit and you tell me that that doesn’t warm the cockles of your snarky hearts for this, the holiday season.  Molls and I both teared up, so it’s cool.  Just let it out.

… And it’s this guy! Tony Romo, you guys.  You remember him. He’s the guy that dumped Jessica last year on her birthday.

Tony’s future wife is Candace Crawford, a news anchor in Dallas and also a beauty queen.  He proposed at some restaurant in Dallas, he got her a nice ass ring, so on and so forth.  But I don’t care about that.  I care about how this is the first serious girlfriend Tony had after Jessica, and about how the proposal happened on her birthday.  Way to cut deep, Tony.

You know what this means, right?  This means that Jessica will retaliate by getting pregnant (retaliation by engagement was already taken.  How’s that feel, Nick Lachey?), and not just any kind of pregnant.  She’ll get “oh, I just forgot to take my birth control for the past few months” pregnant or “oh, sorry, I heard it was totally the right thing to do to poke holes in all the condoms” pregnant or “oh, no, it’s totally fine, don’t pull out” pregnant (because I can definitely see Jessica believing wholeheartedly in the pull out method, can’t you?).  Seriously, I’m calling a vengeance baby announcement by spring.

I came across these photos today through one of our agencies and while photos of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz going out to dinner wouldn’t normally pique my interest, these did and you wanna know why? They have that impending-divorce-look about them, and I have a feeling that we’re going to hear about some semi-major drama in the coming months of 2011.

In all of the photos, Ashlee has a look to her face all like, ‘What the hell was I thinking, marrying this emo fool with the mind of a ten-year-old?’ and Pete’s all still questioning his loyalties to his sexuality and struggling to restrain himself from breaking into Dashboard Confessional songs.

What do you guys think? Is my radar off, or are you guys feeling it, too?