When I first saw these pictures, I thought John Lennon’s mom had a secret love child with Elton John so many years ago and this was the result.

Unfortunately, it was just Lady Gaga’s ‘What the fuck’ face while being groped by a zealous fan.

In reality, I do have something positive to say – Gaga’s bleached eyebrows? Someone did a good job on them and they really look great with her hair. Because really, there’s not much worse than someone with platinum blonde hair and thick, raven-black eyebrows.  OK.  I lied.  Someone with raven-black hair and thick, platinum eyebrows is worse. Much worse.  Sorry!

But whatever.  Check out the photos of Gaga’s cleavage in the photos below. That’s something of a miracle itself.

You probably recognize the dude above from the whole ‘Hide your kids, hide your wife, they rapin’ errbody out here’ video that has, incidentally, become YouTube’s number one video of the year. If you haven’t seen it? Don’t even bother with the above video – it won’t make sense and you’re just going to ruin it on yourself. Click here first, and then here, like good little girls and boys so that you can fully appreciate the hilarity that is Antoine Dodson and auto-tune the news.

By now you’ve probably heard bits and pieces of odd details surrounding a story about Lindsay and her alkie friends at the Betty Ford Clinic and I am here to tell you – whatever you heard?  Is probably correct.

Lindsay, who was ‘bailed’ with some girlfriends for good behavior, had been living in one of Ford’s unsupervised halfway houses and decided to skip out for a night on the town. At a bar. Because patients at a rehab center totally need variety, you guys. All those ‘I’m an alcoholic’ meetings must really get to your psyche, and what better way to shake the demons off your shoulder? DROWN ‘EM IN GREY GOOSE AND RED BULL. (It gives you wings.)

Unfortunately, Lindsay actually thought she had wings, because she and her ladies-in-waiting were caught trying to climb a wall to get back into the compound where they were staying. Naturally, they were caught by security and a Betty Ford staffer by the name of Dawn Holland (who, incidentally, has been fired for speaking to the press over a breach of patient confidentiality) came to the aid of security. According to an interview given by Holland to TMZ:

Dawn Holland, who works as a chemical dependency technician at the Betty Ford Clinic, tells us on Sunday, December 12, just after 1 AM, Lindsay and two roommates came home from a night on the town … violating the curfew policy.

Holland says Lindsay and company jumped a wall, trying to get inside the place she was staying without being noticed. Holland says security stopped the three women, and that’s when Lindsay became belligerent and started swearing up a storm.

Jump in to find out what the trainwreck did next …

(more…)

Did you see Kazaam?  Did you listen to “Shoot Pass Slam?” Have you seen an important basketball game in the past 18 years?  If you answered yes to any of these things, then it should be clear to you that Shaq is a higher being, capable of things that we mortal folk can only dream of doing.  And that’s why this happened:

The Boston Celtics star, 38, led the famous orchestra and the Tanglewood Festival Chorus in a rousing rendition of “Sleigh Ride” as part of the Holiday Pops Concert at Boston’s Symphony Hall.

He might not be the most accomplished conductor in the orchestra’s 125-year history, but at 7-foot-1, he is officially the tallest. And while it wasn’t NBA-caliber grueling, he said the performance was a workout.

“Actually, you know, I have a whole new respect for conductors,” he said before the performance. “I went through a rehearsal today, and my arms are shot right now.”

Beat that, Aaron Carter.

Oh, the time that this information will save me. Hours and hours each day, probably. I mean, before I saw this clip of Christina Ricci on Rachael Ray talking all about what it’s like to make out with R.Patz, I was spending up to fifteen hours a day asking myself, “Is he a good kisser? I mean, he looks like he would be, but is he really?”

Just kiddin’, y’all. I’ve never wondered anything like that in my life. About anyone. And I have to know who does wonder about such things because it seems like every interview with a celebrity that I’ve ever seen includes at least SOMETHING about making out with co-stars. What’s wrong with you horn dogs? Can’t people just enjoy someone’s acting/face without wondering what it’s like to touch lips with them? Plus, how can we trust that Christina Ricci knows what she’s talking about?

Don’t be so freakin’ base, guys.

2010 is coming to an end, so it’s time to reflect on the year’s best entertainment. My memory tends to be fuzzy when it comes to recalling things that happened longer than a week or so ago, so thankfully I found this mash-up of many of the year’s best films. Included in the five and a half minute clip are sections of Kick Ass, Somewhere, Toy Story 3, The Runaways and countless others.

It was a great year for movies. Some of my favorites were Blue Valentine, The Fighter, Exit Through The Gift Shop and Waiting for Superman. My least favorite? Black Swan. Ugh.

What were your favorite flicks of the year? Did you see anything that made its way into your “Favorite Movies of All-Time” list? Any real stinkers that you’d do just about anything to un-see?