If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie procreating didn’t send Jennifer Aniston over the edge, you know this shit will.  Yeah, I know that Jen never had an actual romantic relationship with David Schwimmer, but come on. This is so something that Jennifer would privately bellyache about, even if she had no prior claim to him. Why? I don’t know.  It’s just what she does.  Please don’t ask me to fathom the brittle mind of a spurned rom-com addict like Jennifer Aniston. I just can’t go there today. It’s too close to the holidays.

Schwimmer, who is newly wed to actress Zoe Buckman, announced yesterday afternoon that they are having a baby.

This, by the way, was Jen’s response to her old friend’s good news:

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So some friends of Miley Cyrus’ got together to reenact the famous bong hit choked ’round the world, and decided to make what they considered a funny musical parody of the event that rocked Billy Ray and plaid-wearing Miley fans worldwide. However? Her pals kind of missed the boat on the funny musical parody, because not only was it painfully not funny, they kind of lost the definition of ‘parody’ in translation, too.  Other than the clumsy bong hit in the beginning, I don’t recall any similarities to the original video, really, except the rampant stupidity by no-name friends so hey … maybe they did get it right – by accident.

Apparently the video was shot in the same room, too, or at least it was claimed to be, anyway.  Are you wicked impressed yet?

I like SNL‘s version better, but maybe that’s because it was done by people who are actually paid to be funny.

It’s been a banner month for celebrity break-ups, but according to one blind item, there’s another one coming that’s going to top ‘em all.

From BlindGossip:

Lots of celebrity break up announcements this holiday season, but one more  is supposed to be coming in the next few weeks. This couple has actually been split up for months now, but you may not have even noticed since – like Scarlett and Ryan – they are usually photographed separately from each other. They were going to announce a couple of weeks ago, but got cold feet once they saw the flurry of attention that other celebrities were getting for the same action. The more famous of the two wants the publicists to release the announcement between Christmas and New Year’s in the hopes that the public will be too busy celebrating the holidays to notice. Before you start feeling sorry for either of them, though, you should probably know that both have already moved on to new relationships.

Let’s see… So far we’ve seen Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson,  Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter, Anna Friel and David Thewlis, and Dylan Walsh and Joanna Going split this season. Who does that leave us with? Matthew Broderick and SJP? Probably not, we’ve seen them together quite a bit this year. Same with Heidi and Seal (as they’ll ever break-up.)

My money’s on Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin for this one. Her high-profile appearance on Glee and her role in Country Song could be ways to reestablish herself publicly (I mean, what has she been doing except being a married mom with a blog the last couple of years?), although I’m not sure that I see either one of them being the type to immediately move on to a new boo.

Who do you think the mysterious couple is?

KiKi Dunst was photographed trying on this hat at Barney’s yesterday, and while the part of me that’s into logic and reasoning says that there’s really nothing cute about this look, the Degrassi fan in me can’t help but love it. What do you think, Joey Jeremiah?

“LOOKS COOL TO ME!”

Aaron Eckhart has done something very rare, you guys. He was honest about the working conditions on his new movie with Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole. You know how co-stars always act like they were instant BFFs with an unbreakable connection for like, the sake of selling their on-screen chemistry? Aaron was like, “Fuck that noise,” and came clean about how tense things got between him and Nicole while they were filming the movie.

Aaron told E! News:

“She was irritated with me and I was irritated with her but that’s the way movie-making is. For one day, are we not allowed? For half a day even?…It’s so surprising to me when people are surprised that movie making is sometimes tense and uncomfortable because inherently it’s going to be. You’re around tens of people or hundreds of people working on things that are imaginary and that come from the soul. You could be dealing with subject matter like prostitution, death, drugs, blah, blah, blah. How could you expect that not to be uncomfortable?”

Would I be devastated to hear that this is how say, Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer felt about one another while filming Friends? Probably. But I respect that Aaron’s keeping it real about the mood on set. It’s not like anyone would truly believe that working with Nicole Kidman and her stiff-ass face is a delight, anyway.

While we’re on the subject of on-screen couples we never really bought, can you think of any other co-stars who probably hated each other’s guts while filming?

Katy recently did an interview with Grazia magazine, and she did the usual “Russell and I are so in love, we are soul mates, we have such true strong feelings” talk, but she also spoke on the topic of children.  When asked if she was thinking about having kids, she responded with “Absolutely.  I don’t want to miss out on any experience. I want lots of children.  It’s all very possible.”  And I think that’s a very interesting reply.

Katy and Russell are not exactly known for taking it slow (engaged after three months of dating, really?), so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if we started noticing a baby bump by Martin Luther King Day.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if these two turned out to be like a budget Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, knocking out a solid half-dozen kids in a relatively short period of time, and they could sell the first baby pictures to Cosmo Girl.  Helen Mirren could be the godmother.

I can’t decide if the soon-to-be Perry-Brand brood is the best idea or not.  What do you guys think?