Here’s Britney Spears’ take on allegations that recent audio tapes of a conversation between her and ex-husband Jason Alexander surfaced. The tapes allegedly portray Britney telling Alexander that her current boyfriend, Jason Trawick, ‘beats on her’ and gives her black eyes when she’s bad, and even when she’s ‘eatin’ them French fried potaters.’
I heard the audio snippets over on Radar Online (here if you want to listen to them), and really? Total crock of bullshit if you ask me, and frankly, the tapes are insulting.
Insulting, you say? Insulting because they make Brit look like a battered woman? Nope. Because she’s calling Jason Alexander, the nameless, faceless, fameless douche of all people? Close, but no dice. Maybe because the chick on the tape doesn’t even sound like Brit-Brit? You’re getting warm – but here’s the dealbreaker: because whomever is impersonating Britney sounds so. fucking. stupid. Mentally incapacitated-stupid. Slow. Set back three grades in middle school. I know Britney’s, you know, ‘country y’all,’ but please. The tapes are so unbelievable in their simple, poor-grammar-runnin’-free kind of way that they’re totally insulting – not only to Britney, but to anyone with a half a brain cell who actually thinks that they’re real.
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