But, you know, if you don’t celebrate the Gregorian calendar new year, I apologize for offending you or whatever. I know some of you have really strong opinions about this kind of stuff.

We here at Evil Beet are off doing fabulous things tonight – some of us are out brushing elbows with celebs, some of us are keeping it chill at trendy house parties, and some of us are staying home to eat four pounds of shrimp and kielbasa while watching The Twilight Zone marathon for the next twenty-four hours or so, rocking grungy pajamas through it all, you guys. (That last one about the Twilight Zone marathon? Yeah. That’d be me.)

Thanks to all of you who continually return to the site day after day and month after month, because after all – if it weren’t for you loyal readers, we wouldn’t be where we are anyway. (And I wouldn’t be pigging out on this much shrimp, that’s for damn sure.)

So celebrate with smarts, enjoy your night, think of me while you’re snorting coke off of the g-string of Paris Hilton’s that you won on eBay ’cause you knew it’d come in handy for such a time as this, and above all – call a designated driver, because you don’t want to end up dead for the first day of the new decade. Or worse, like Lindsay.

Happy New Year!

I just lost thirty minutes of my life to this and now you must suffer with me.

TheBoredNinja posted up this picture that contains images that represent fifty different movie titles. The obvious ones jump out at you right away (Happy Feet, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) and then things start to get a little more tricky.

I figure that a lot of us are doing the “stuck inside because the weather sucks and we have no one who loves us” thing, so lets try and break this down together in the comments, shall we?

If you spot a movie title, post it up and we’ll get a little list going. Maybe we can decipher the whole thing before next year!

(View a larger version of this over here)

“If CNN dares to pull me live, I’ll be walking right over to New Year’s Rockin’ Eve to give Dick Clark a lap dance. It’s up to you America.”

-Kathy Griffin, explaining to The Hollywood Reporter what she will do if CNN pulls her off of their New Years Eve broadcast for swearing.

I’m not exactly sure how this is “up to America”, but I can’t imagine any better way to ring in 2011 than by watching my favorite loudmouthed female straddle an octogenarian on live TV. Fingers crossed she blows it by 8:15 so I can call it an early night.

You probably would guess that absolutely no one is trying to replicate Britney Spears’ career, especially since she went hella craycray a couple of years ago, basically convincing us that fame is an ugly thing that eats even the most simple of people alive. But no! According to this blind item from BuzzFoto, at least one young singer’s people think that copying Ms. Spears is the way to become a legend.

Here’s the item:

Pulling a Britney. That’s what her camp is calling it. To rocket this young singer to fame, they plan to replicate the highs and low of Britney Spears’ career, eventually leading to a public meltdown in a few years. They are convinced they can handle a comeback better than Britney did and hope to land their sassy client in the pages of music history as one of the greatest singers ever.

If the word “camp” and her recent stint in rehab for “emotional problems” is any indication, I’m leaning toward Demi Lovato on this one. Or perhaps Miley Cyrus, who’s been behaving pretty badly as of late. I can see both of these girls AND their people thinking that the key to longevity is tabloid relevance. And what better way to keep someone in the headlines than a mental breakdown?

Leave your guesses in the comments, my frondz.

Let me paint this picture for you.  Katy Perry and Russell Brand were all snuggled up at home together, doing whatever they do (if we’re going to judge their personal lives by how they portray themselves to the public, I’m guessing they were either playing Candy Land and eating cotton candy or ignoring sex addiction).  After that, maybe they go to bed, maybe Katy decided to curl up for a nap, but either way, the result is the same, and the result is that Russell decided to wake her up, take a picture of her pitiful, confused little face, and post it on Twitter.  Russell took it down pretty soon afterwards, but the internet doesn’t forget.

Surprise and no makeup aside, Katy still looks pretty good, right? I mean, it’s not her usual “my face has all of the makeup” look, but she’s still cute.  Would you kick her out of the bed for eating crackers?  Trick question, because the answer to that question is always yes.  Sharp bits of food are still painful, no matter how pretty you are.

This is what the sexiest woman in the world looks like first thing in the morning. Warning: Graphic footage to follow. May not be suitable if you’ve just eaten, or, you know, had taken a breath. [The Superficial]

2010 – A compendium of hot, bikini-clad women. You’re welcome. [Celebslam]

Um, wow. I forgot how many chest … tattoos Justin Timberlake has. [popbytes]

Kevin Smith is officially all fat, no balls. [Pajiba]

2010′s Ten Hottest Guys of the Year. Good picks, my friends … Good picks. [Celebitchy]

Is MTV’s 16 & Pregnant being eclipsed by Teen Mom? [Zelda Lily]

Chris Brown is on the receiving end of death threats. And 2010 closes with poetic justice indeed. [Allie is Wired]

Michelle Williams talks about oral sex with Ryan Gosling. My oh my. [Amy Grindhouse]

You’ll never believe what Kate Middleton has to say about being a celebrity. [Betty Confidential]

Hugh Jackman gets hit in the nuts. Oh so bad. [OMGBlog]

The Last Split of 2010: John Mellencamp and his wife of 18 years have split. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Teen Mom‘s Amber Portwood and boyfriend Gary are apparently ‘faking’ violence for money and publicity. Someone take this child away, like, STAT. [Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

Kelly Osbourne is apparently not happy about her former boyfriend’s alleged bisexuality. [Tabloid Prodigy]

Photos of Dave Navarro and Brooke Mueller swapping spit. Thanks for that. [TMZ]