If we’re to believe her mother, Lindsay Lohan is doing wonderfully in rehab. Dina spoke to Matt Lauer at the Today Show this morning, and while she was optimistic about her daughter’s healing process, she couldn’t say whether or not this trip to rehab would be the one to stick. Dina said, “We take it one day at a time. Addiction is difficult. I don’t know. I don’t have a crystal ball. I pray hard.”

The interview is just about what you’d expect it to be. Dina clarified to Matt that she wasn’t lying when she came on their show this summer to deny Lindsay’s drug use, she was protecting her daughter (Sure, protecting her with a lie, Dina.) She also said that Lindsay wants to stay at Betty Ford throughout Christmas and New Years as mandated by the judge, so even if she gets another early release, she’ll stick with her treatment.

It sucks for Lindsay that she has the parents she does because every time they open their mouths, they make her seem even less credible. Of course I’m just as interested as the rest of the world in where Lindsay’s at in beating her addiction, but we have to let it happen. If I was trapped in a rehab center, regardless of how much it felt like a five-star hotel, and my mother was giving interviews to The Today Show, I can imagine that that would make me want to relapse. It puts an inappropriate amount of pressure on Lindsay and PR-wise, wouldn’t it be smarter to let the girl have a full-blown comeback once she’s clean and sober as opposed to us feeding off these little breadcrumbs of information like a bunch of pigeons?

Katy Perry performed at MTV’s European Music Awards last night and this is what she was wearing. The skating dress that was removed to reveal this sparkly skin-tight unitard wasn’t that offensive, but the half-glittery bald cap look? Not cute. In fact, I have no idea what anyone involved in the styling process here was thinking. Are foreheads that creep past an acceptable human hairline hot right now? Is this some cultural reference that I’m missing? And why does Russell Brand look so excited to see his wife looking like the spawn of an alien and the WWE’s Chyna Doll?

This story is amazing if only because it’s some of the most bizarre shit I’ve seen a celebrity take a stance on like, in my life. Ever.

Actor Eric Roberts, brother of Julia Roberts, made the above statement last week on his Twitter page. I’m pretty sure we’ve all had the same thought about Kate Gosselin as a mother, but it’s totally rare for an actual celebrity to make a statement like this. Candy Spelling, sure. A working actor? Very rare. But it turns out that keeping Kate Gosselin away from her kids is kind of Eric’s cause.

He’s so dedicated to bringing Kate down that he did an interview with what appears to be an anti-Gosselin site and the dude went OFF about how unfit he views her to be. Here are some of the best quotes:

“Thank goodness there is footage of Gosselin hitting her kids, and apparently feeling fine about it. I say thank goodness, because behind closed doors makes it that much tougher to stop.”

“I think the Gosselin kids’ private lives are their problem, not the fact that their private lives are public. They have an awful mother, and a father who doesn’t stop her.”

“I do think this is unfair to children, as they are not fully willing participants. But kids are not fully willing participants in anything during childhood.”
“Most parents love their children very much, just not very well. The home is an unregulated place to work. This should change. Parenting should be earned and licensed. Violence, emotional or physical, against or around a child or an animal (or anyone) should be a one-strike situation. Kind people have to step up to take care of the children who are being raised by unkind people.”

“My advice to Kate Gosselin would be to get out of denial and receive anger management with Dr. Richard Green in Woodland Hills, California. Next time she feels herself lifting a hand to harm one of her children, she should instead make a call to her local 12-step program. Those programs help with patterns of violence, among the more expected things they treat.”

His advice to Kate’s ex-husband, Jon: “Make a legally binding arrangement whereby Kate loses her financial security any time she hits those kids. She’s playing the role of good mom. When she stops playing the role as it’s written, she should be fired.”

I admire some of Eric’s thoughts about child rearing, but there are so many kids that are in much graver danger than the Gosselin kids. Sure, their mom is strict, spanks them and comes off as a complete witch on television, but that’s her personality and those are her parenting choices, and they’re hers to make. With the amount of kids in foster care in this country, is Kate Gosselin seriously Eric’s bone to pick?

Also, Woodland Hills sucks and it’s boring.

I love Bon Jovi. I love him probably more than I can even tolerate 90% of today’s ‘rock and roll’ musicians or pop stars. Jovi’s got substance, lasting power, and above all, talent, and this is why I’m not sure he’s trying to hard to remain relevant in today’s meat market known as the music world when, guys, he’s already got this.

Anyway, Jon Bon Jovi appeared on Europe’s MTV Music Awards last night and did this awkward duet with Rihanna (above). And I’m confused.

Just … watch the video. And let me know if you share the same sentiments, like ‘Is the Jove selling out?’ ‘Was this even the Jove’s idea?’ ‘Is this what Rihanna considers dancing?’

Actress Thora Birch was photographed at the BV premiere (for real, guys, this movie’s unstoppable) held at Grauman’s Chinese Theater this past weekend.

*I’m thinking something along the lines of, ‘Did Thora leave the remainder of her eyebrows on the set of Now and Then?’ or better yet, ‘After her most recent appearance on the red carpet of Blue Valentine, Thora Birch is offered a lucrative role as spokesperson for Valtrex Blistex.’

Michael Jackson, King of Pop and pretty much all things modern music the world over, has released a new single – ‘Breaking News.’ I mean, you know, he didn’t release it, his estate or whatever did, because of that whole deceased thing, but hey. It’s classic Michael, it kind of reminds me of a crossbreed of ‘Thriller’ and ‘Billie Jean,’ and it definitely makes me yearn for the mid-eighties.  Sigh.

The song, if you can’t listen to it right now ’cause you’re at work and your boss sucks or whatever, is more or less about the general media response to the person of Michael Jackson between his lawsuits, outlandish behavior and legendary music; here are the lyrics, which aren’t as epic as, you know, ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ (my personal Jackson song), but they’re good:

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