Nov 12, 2010 at 06:30 am by Sarah

photo of jersey shore angelina pivarnick short dress fat foot pictures

The song, which you can listen to here, was never supposed to be released, because Jersey Shore princess Angelina Pivarnick wasn’t ‘happy’ with the contract that she was provided with. However? I’m thinking that the song wasn’t supposed to be released because it’s the most horrible, embarrassing display of obnoxiousness that’s ever graced the music scene.  Ever. Of all time.

If you can’t listen to it, ’cause you’re at work, or because you don’t want your new live-in boyfriend or girlfriend rethinking their decision to cohabitate, I’ll give you a clue as to what it’s like – ever see the rap scene in Teen Witch?

At least Teen Witch had an excuse, guys.

Nov 11, 2010 at 03:00 pm by Sarah

“I am extremely, extremely happy for him. I couldn’t be more happy for Nick. … My mom actually called me and told me that everybody was saying that I was ‘saddened.’ And I was just in complete shock. You know, our relationship was over a really long time ago, so it would be nice if everybody could move on with us and really just celebrate the love between him and Vanessa. I do, and I wish them nothing but the best.”

Do you, Jess? Do you really? Because you’re right; it doesn’t seem like anyone can really let this go. But I think these people often forget – you were the one who filed for divorce, weren’t you? You could still probably have that smarmy-voiced git if you really, really wanted him, you know. And people just don’t get it. Nick Lachey wouldn’t even have Vanessa Minnillo if it weren’t for you, girl. And don’t let that torture you, ’cause you’re much better off without his oily arse.

Nov 11, 2010 at 01:00 pm by Sarah

photo of iwo jima pictures veterans day

I don’t give a crap if you don’t consider yourself patriotic or if you consider yourself an anarchist, today is a day that you should be in reverent thought for your veterans – those who were either fearfully forced to fight on the front lines in order to liberate a country, or those who bravely elected to walk forth, somberly, and accept a fate that was bestowed upon them by their country’s calling.

It’s because of these brave men and women that we are as great a nation as we are today, and even those crazy celebrities that we love to talk about so much here have had a hand in fighting for our nation in one way or another. Without further ado, a few celebrities who felt the calling of their nation and served her well:

Tony Bennett
George Steinbrenner
Montel Williams
Bill Cosby
Rod Serling
Ice-T
MC Hammer
Mel Brooks
Elvis Presley
Jimmy Stewart
Clint Eastwood
James Earl Jones
Gene Hackman
Jimi Hendrix
George Carlin
Chuck Norris
Drew Carey
Shaggy

This is just to name a few, but there are far more important ones out there, too, the ones who never received national and international recognition, and they’re probably much closer than you think.

So if you don’t know any of these guys on the list personally to thank (a lot of them are either dead or just won’t really want to talk to you), go and be a good person: find a veteran so that you can thank him or her for serving our country in the noblest of ways.

Nov 11, 2010 at 12:07 pm by Emily

It’s Mr. Peanut.  Robert Downey, Jr. is Mr. Peanut.  Could you just die?

I’m starting to think that RDJ can’t do anything wrong.  Well, ok, there was that one stretch with the drugs and the jail and all, but no bother.  He is beautiful and talented, he was in a movie with my very favorite, Zach Galifianakis (you guys have already seen Due Date, right?  Go ahead and tend to that if you haven’t), and now he’s Mr. Peanut.  And really, who could ask for anything more?

Oh, and by the way, does the Nutcracker’s voice seem a little familiar to you?  Yeah, that’s Val Kilmer.  I think the peanut industry is shooting for some Oscars with this one.

Nov 11, 2010 at 12:00 pm by Sarah

photo of lindsay lohan pictures hot sexy

Hell has officially frozen over, guys, ’cause the devil himself is ascending to a vessel where he’ll be better represented – Lindsay Lohan has welcomed her formerly-estranged father, Michael, back into her life.

Sources close to Lindsay claim that the ordeal was ‘emotional,’ and that there were ‘hugs, kisses, and a few tears’ when the father and daughter were reunited this past weekend at the Betty Ford clinic where Lindsay is currently undergoing inpatient (sort of) rehabilitation.

Lindsay’s rep naturally had no comment on behalf of the actress, but Foghorn Leghorn Lohan did:

“I have pledged not to comment about anything relating to my daughter. However, what I will say is that I am an incredibly proud father tonight. My daughter is progressing extraordinarily well.”

So, yeah, by ‘no comment,’ we all know by now that Michael Lohan means ‘CommentCOMMENTcomment!’. But anyway, hey. I’m not going to judge too much – I know that the general consensus says that Michael Lohan’s kind of a douche, but the douche is her father, and who would I be to judge the nuances of a father-daughter relationship – albeit, an obviously dysfunctional one?

Here’s to the reunited family members, and hope that this move is in the best interest for both of them. Or, at least for Lindsay, anyway.  Lord knows she doesn’t need any more bad ideas right now.

Nov 11, 2010 at 10:00 am by Sarah

photo of phil collins genesis singer drummer nerve damage pictures

So Phill Collins, the epic musician who followed me around one summer (long story), has apparently got some skeletons in his closet, much like everyone else.

Collins, who has kind of remained out of the spotlight for awhile, has come forward to discuss something important to him, and something that he’s battled with off and on for the past few years: depression. The Genesis singer/drummer sat down recently with Rolling Stone magazine and claimed that suicide was not out of the question during his darkest days, and who knows, it still might not be.

On the topic of suicide and how it applies to his everyday life:

“I wouldn’t blow my head off. I’d overdose or do something that didn’t hurt. But I wouldn’t do that to the children. A comedian who committed suicide in the Sixties left a note saying, ‘Too many things went wrong too often.’ I often think about that.”

On a series of photos depicting ‘orbs’ which were taken at the Alamo, and becoming spiritual and supernatural these days:

“It’s paranormal energy,” he explains, nothing that a psychic recently told him he fought at the fort in a previous lifetime. “I don’t want to sound like a weirdo. I’m not Shirley MacLaine, but I’m prepared to believe. You’ve seen the pictures. You can’t deny them, so therefore it’s possible that I was there in another life.”

On the injury that left him unable to drum, or even sometimes use his hands for basic things (like wiping his backside in the bathroom, as the original Rolling Stone article quips):

“I was going to stop drumming anyway,” he says. “I had stopped. I don’t miss it.”

Collins, who left the spotlight over ten years ago when his last album dropped, lives in Switzerland with his two sons. Scary. I’m kind of worried about this guy. He sounds sort of out there, and desperate to retain some kind of happiness, as we all are … but old Phil just isn’t sounding that great.