Emma Watson stepped out in NYC wearing this inkblot dress, which is pretty cute upon first look. Upon second look you realize that there’s a spot right over her crotch that looks like an anatomically correct vagina. I mean, the longer I stare at this dress, the more I wonder if this is even appropriate to post on this website. That vagina-splotch makes this barely SFW. I mean, Jesus! Emma! Have some class!

John Cusack creeps me the fuck out with his Twitter page and he’s about to do the same thing in his new movie, The Raven. John is playing Edgar Allan Poe, and while I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him act well enough to believe he can pull this part off, he certainly got his shit together in wardrobe.

Are you going to see The Raven?

Kristen Stewart looks hot in a bikini, no matter what you say. [Celebslam]

Spencer Pratt directing porn? [popbytes]

You might want to go and check out the latest poster for the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides installment. [Pajiba]

Do you love Rihanna’s latest hair, or is it just getting ridiculous? [Celebitchy]

LOL @ Taylor Momsen’s 1997 Shake ‘n Bake commercial! [Amy Grindhouse]

A plethora of really inappropriate Demi Moore photos from when she was much, much younger. At least, most of her was. [CityRag]

Scarlett Johansson named GQ woman of the year. So hot. [Pop on the Pop]

The de-evolution of Heidi Montag, right before our eyes. [Zelda Lily]

Lady Gaga to star in new Muppet movie? [OMGBlog]

Christian Bale on the cover of December Esquire, looking the hottest I’ve ever seen. [Earsucker]

President Bill Clinton to make an appearance on The Hangover 2? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

And according to Corey, he’s not the only one – he says that the original cast and even writer/producer Steven Spielberg want to continue on with the epic adventures of the Goonies. The thing is, the studio’s a little hesitant:

“They treasure this film, as you know – it is literally their greatest family film title of all time,” he says. “That’s the way they see it. It’s always on the top 25, all DVD sales around the world all the time. If we go and throw a sequel out there that’s lesser [in quality], then suddenly we may hurt this continuous cash cow.”

I feel like a lot of what Corey Feldman says nowadays is nonsense, but if he’s telling the truth about Spielberg being open to a sequel, that sounds like it may be a little legit.  I mean, the guy got that shitty fourth Indiana Jones movie made, I think he could talk people into a little ol’ Goonies sequel.  I’m not saying it would be right – it would probably be pretty tragic, especially since Chunk is now the most attractive cast member – I’m just saying it’s possible.

Another possibility?  A Broadway musical based on the original film.  Let’s take that road, everyone involved with The Goonies. That’s the kind of growth that’s acceptable.

Goonies never say die, you guys.  Trust.

Rachel Uchitel, former mistress of Tiger Woods and contestant on Celebrity Rehab, claims that she’s neither a ho nor a homewrecker. In fact, she’s a private investigator. Or, at least, will be, come this December!

Yup. Rachel Uchitel finally breaks her silence to the UK’s Daily Mail about the Tiger Woods affair (OK, well, not too much, or she would have ended up with a bloody horse’s head in her bed, not all that dissimilar from last Christmas) and claims that she’s not only the best of all of the mistresses, but the one with the most teeth.

On former fellow mistress Jaimie Grubbs:

“The poor girl had a tooth missing … Honestly, she was toothless!”

She also claims that all of the other women in Tiger’s life were whores, but not She of the Virgins and of the Crisp Hair:

“People have called me all sorts of names, but they don’t know me.  I am not the same as the other girls … I am only telling my story now so that people can discover what sort of girl I am and learn the truth about me – if they still choose to hate me, then so be it – but I never set out to hurt anyone.”

Uchitel also says that while she appreciates Tiger’s multi-million-dollar payoff, she didn’t need it, ’cause her love don’t cost a thing:

“I have a brain and I came from money. I never needed any man’s money.”

As for her future career aspirations? She wants to add private investigator to her list of wonderful attributes, and will be formally licensed next month:

“Yes, that means I will be hunting down cheating husbands,” she said. “It is all part of me moving on with my life and I figured I may as well do something career-wise that I have a flair for.”

I guess the ‘stripper’ and ‘famewhore‘ positions were filled to the gills at the New York unemployment office. Uchitel strikes me as a ‘take what you can’ type of girl, so private eye it is, guys.  Wish the lady some luck, won’t you?

“How do I keep slim? Having two boys definitely helps, and I love to dance. It’s the best way to stay in shape.”

And here I was thinking it was all of the fro-yos and Frappuccinos. Boy, don’t I feel stupid.