“I enjoyed them all! I never felt I chose badly, and I was always happy when the next man came along. I can usually last about two years with a man, and that’s it. The moment the relationship goes into the phase of more commitment, it changes.”

Cher, referring to dating Tom Cruise, Richie Sambora, and Val Kilmer in their younger days.

Apparently, this is Madonna’s inspiration, but nobody does it better than Cher, even if they did sleep with Jesus. Ever.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a prime example of a deep-seated neurosis.

Anita, Twilight‘s biggest fan – according to Moviefone – compiled the above video as an entry for a contest on the Moviefone website, aptly named ‘Are You the Biggest Twihard?’

Anita, because she is the Chuck Norris of Twilight fans (really, how much practice did it take to get that deadpan delivery of those creepy lines – wait, none, because like Chuck Norris, insanity lurks in the soul), won the contest and now her video has gone viral.

Congratulations to Anita (I guess, right?) and here’s hoping that Merck Pharmaceuticals has seen the video, created an anti-psychotic drug aptly named for the Twilight franchise, and begins marketing said drug soon. With trials conducted on Anita herself.

I totally, totally love the outfit, and the glasses definitely flatter Jen’s face, but they also kind of age her, too. Not that she’s, you know, old, or even looking any older than her forty-one years, but the glasses definitely give you an idea of what girlfriend’s going to look like when she’s in her sixties.

And if she’s OK with that, I am too – because although I give Aniston a lot of crap for being a wimpy man-wanting rom-com fiend, I also have to give her credit for staying true to herself – and her looks.

Gwyneth Paltrow played a substitute Spanish teacher desperately trying to get on her students level on last night’s episode of Glee, and in the process wound up insulting the entire Lohan family. Damn.

Out of context, Gwyneth’s character cracking jokes about Lindsay’s history of rehab and mental illness seems totally mean-spirited, but the entire scene was about a lady trying to get down on the level of some teenagers. It’s easy to go after Lindsay Lohan (I should know, right?), but it makes sense for the character.

Still, Dina Lohan had this response, “Our lawyers are sending a letter to Glee on the grounds that the show allegedly defamed the actress who, by all accounts, is working hard on her recovery.”

Allegedly is right, girlfriend. Did you even see the episode yet?

So I just read that Beyonce’s commercial for her perfume Heat has been banned from British television before 7:30 PM because of it’s sexually suggestive nature. Yo, in Britain. Where they all act like delightful horndogs and call it being cheeky!

But I just watched the ad and I’m not sure if I understand what the big deal is. Is this that much more sexual than say, a Victoria’s Secret ad? I don’t think so. Is it because Beyonce comes off as a poweful sex demon and not a grown ass woman running around in a g-string and angel wings?

Lighten up, people! Let Beyonce express herself!

A Wisconsin man was arrested this morning after it was reported to the authorities that gun shots were going off in his house. Steve Cowan told officers that he shot his TV after watching Bristol Palin’s performance on Dancing With The Stars because she’s a bad dancer and she’s riding her mom’s coattails.

We’ve all gotten upset over both the Palin family and reality competition shows, but rarely does it manifest in an appliance getting shot. Unsurprisingly, the authorities have revealed that Cowan suffers from bi-polar disorder. If convicted of his charge of 2nd degree reckless endangerment, he could face up to 10 years in jail.

See what you’ve done, Bristol?!