Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kanye West is Macy’s Biggest Turkey, Right?

So I was way too busy yesterday to be bothered with the likes of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, because I was up to my eyeballs in pie baking and ramming fistfuls of wet bread up a dead bird’s ass.  I was also a little distracted because I had to repeat everything three or four times due to the fact that everyone I spoke to kept saying, ‘Huh?’ after everything I said, and it wasn’t because I was quietly and reverently honoring the bird.  It was because last week’s monstrosity of a flu turned into a severe case of laryngitis and I. CANNOT. TALK.

So, yeah.  Thanksgiving – the act of being overtly thankful for something, or, according to my favorite Merriam-Webster definition (… what, and you don’t have one?), ‘a public acknowledgement or celebration of divine goodness.’

Me, I’m thankful that I have a job where I can roll out of bed, leave a whiz, brew up a quick latte and walk forty feet to my office, which is oh-so-conveniently located off my kitchen and don’t have to talk to anyone if I choose not to.  And I do.  Today.

I’m also thankful that Kanye is such an over-the-top douche, because he made the part of the Thanksgiving Day parade that I did see eternally entertaining. Gotta love those bedazzled and bedecked backup dancers shakin’ their groove thang to … Kanye.  On Thanksgiving.