Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jessica Alba Needs to Check Her Pretty Self

A photo of Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba is the cover girl for the December issue of Elle, and I have some feelings about it.  Her pictures are really pretty, as pictures of pretty people tend to be, but the handful of quotes they released with the pictures are just not good.  It’s like that one time last month when she did an interview with GQ and talked about how ugly she was, except a little more demeaning to other people.

On her shallow roles: “I know I haven’t been swimming in the deep end with some of the movies I’ve done. I wasn’t trying to. I knew what they were.”

On comedy: “I’m shy. I don’t like being the center of attention. But when I do comedy, I lose all inhibition and introspection. I no longer care.”

On what good actors do:  “Good actors, never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.”

So yeah, boring, boring, whatever, then “nobody cares about screenwriters.”  And let’s just hold up for a minute there.  For one, I’m not sure anyone should be taking advice on the behavior of good actors from Jessica Alba, and for two, seriously?  I don’t think this is true at all, or at least I hope not.  I know that if there’s a stand-up in a movie or a classic comedic actor around then improv can happen, but I doubt that Hollywood actors receive a script, read it to get the gist, and then just wing it.

When it comes down to it, Jessica Alba, I’m pretty sure you’re just a glorified meat puppet.  You’re still pretty though, so there’s that.