And I can say with much honesty and conviction, that I can fully uphold my promise to maintain my end of that bargain.
However, American Idol contestants? Watch the fuck out, ’cause the Wedding Planner has got your number, and she-who-sleeps-next-to-Skeletor is not amused.
Lopez, who is one of the newest judges on the fastest-tanking reality show on television this season, claims that she’s enjoying her stint as the iron-fisted replacement for Simon Cowell, but you’re not scoring any points by warbling her songs better than she can:
“It [auditioning her songs] was cute, super entertaining and flattering, but no. They know we’re not out to cut them down or make a joke of them. We’re trying to mentor them to the next step.”
Don’t get me wrong. I actually love me some Jennifer Lopez. I wasn’t joking about the Wedding Planner reference; I actually love that movie. I watch it every time it’s on television, and I even own it on DVD. It’s all good, Jenny. But I definitely prefer you as an actress, as opposed to a musician. You might know music, and you might be able to carry a tune, but the music itself, man, is totally heinous.
With that being said, here’s a song to get you through the day. It is Friday after all. (Do look for the Ben Affleck cameo … it’s so worth it.)
Ahh Bennifer. Those were the days.
Yeah you told us J-Ho, you’re “real”…… a real lousy singer that is.
There’s not a chance in hell I’d sing her songe or think of them. Ever.
Of course she doesn’t want to hear talented singers perform her songs, because it would become obvious that her voice isn’t very strong. But she can shake a tail feather better than they can!