Jessica Simpson sat down for an interview with USA Today, Maria Shriver and Ali Wentworth for a Women’s Conference on Monday and she opened up about some hot topics. Jessica is always super honest in interviews, but I don’t know that I’ve seen her do one in quite some time. Here are some of the choice quotes from her interview on Monday:

On seeing her ex-husband, Nick:
“He was at the same restaurant. I didn’t speak to him.”

On her new dude, Eric Johnson:
“He definitely makes me very happy. He brings out a lot of light in me and makes me very comfortable being who I am. It’s nice to be with somebody who praises you for the right reasons.”

On the constant scrutiny from the press re: her weight:
“I feel like people are constantly curious as to how much I weigh or what I look like or what I wear. There’s no way you’re not going to be affected by the ugly things people say about you. It’s very hurtful. It definitely brings up a lot of your own insecurities.”

On her relationship with food:
“I’m from Texas, I like everything fried, which is the really unfortunate thing. My relationship with food? I want it when I’m sad. When I’m happy, I don’t think much about it. But I do like to go out on a date for a good dining experience. It’s important not to say, ‘I can’t have this’ because then I obsess about it.”

On ‘the perfect day’:
“A good pampering day for me would be vegging out on the couch, eating whatever the heck I want to eat and watching all my TV shows.”

OK, so nothing groundbreaking. We can assume that she’s an emotional eater like all of us and that her ideal day involves lounging around like we saw her do for three straight seasons on Newlyweds, but that’s interesting about her and Nick ignoring each other. Not for a moment did I think they were mature enough to have healed their wounds, but I certainly didn’t think it was so bad that they would treat each other like strangers in a restaurant.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is dating indie film actor Alex Beh. Normally I don’t report on Love’s flash-in-the-pan dating stories because they’re always over before I even press “publish”, but this quote from Alex about reading his lady’s dating book, The Day I Shot Cupid, is priceless:

“It’s very informative. I learned all I needed to know. When I first met her, I really was able to just map out all the things to do and not to do.”

OK, you guys. I have read this book and it’s psycho. In fact, this dude is obviously using her for whatever press he can wring out of her tired soul because that book is like…. mental.

I read it about six months ago when some dude gave me a copy of it on our first date and said, “Read this. It’s hilarious and BTW, never ever do anything she tells you to do in this book. It’s horrifying.”

And horrifying it was. Do you know that she recommends putting together his and hers toiletry bags as soon as the third date so that your partner knows he has a space at your house and vice versa? On the third date she recommends you take this upon yourself. I don’t think most people would do that after the third month.

Another awkward aspect? Love wrote that book while she was still together with Jamie Kennedy and there’s multiple chapters in which she talks about how she knew he was the man for her. There’s even a section of the book where Jamie “takes over” and talks about how much he loves a nice, full ass on a woman. It basically read like a backwards love letter between two of the most pathetic folks I’ve ever encountered.

Also, let’s not forget that this book is where the term “vajazzeling” was born. There’s an entire chapter in the book about getting stones glued on your nooner. Disgusting.

Anyway, I don’t trust this Alex Beh character. Jennifer, you be careful, you crazy bitch.

I mean, I guess it’s a dress, right? A dress that unfortunately got one of the Golden Girls‘ robes stuck in the belt as Julianne hurriedly buckled her belt or something? And she said, ‘Man, screw it; I’ll just flip this weird, tapered kimono sleeve up over my shoulder and hope no one notices.’ Right?

Yo, that’s crazy. That’s like Charlie Sheen sponsoring his local police department, or Lindsay Lohan endorsing Promises. You’d think it’d go together like peanut butter and Nutella, but when paired, it actually results in quite a nasty fucking sticky mess.

Here we see Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi (of Jersey Shore, but I’m sure I don’t really need to specify that any longer) plugging BL Body Activewear in NYC earlier in the week.

Hey, girl? If you put down the cigarettes and push your drinking start time from 10 AM to at least 10 PM, you might actually get healthy and the exercise’ll do you some good.

Remember yesterday’s piece about Taylor Momsen of Gossip Girl fame, and now of whiny, pissy, bitchy, tit-flashing Courtney Love-wannabe fame? Yeah, there’s more to the story. I was kind of concerned that, you know, her parents weren’t exactly doing enough to keep their still-underage and therefore controllable-to-a-certain-extent daughter’s trashy antics under wraps, but never fear: Mama Lohan Momsen knew about the tit-flash the entire time. Actually, she was there for it, and now I am more repulsed than I was to begin with, and that’s saying a lot.

The Hollywood Life, site that brought us the footage of vapid Taylor singing in her monotone baritone to generic goth music, has exclusive details that Taylor Momsen’s mother, Colette, was in the audience and knew full-well as to her daughter’s plans to expose boobs that aren’t even two decades old.  Or fully developed.

According to sources, Taylor’s mother was the only one in the 65-person audience that was not ‘shocked’ over the underage actress/singer’s actions, and played it rather coy and cool for the remainder of the set, cheering for her daughter and rocking out to the … music.

Now that’s one cool mom, you know? But you could have totally gotten that vibe, you know, months ago when the two best pals were photographed out together, just chilling in NYC, as depicted in the photo above. I mean, it just says it all.

Emma Stone is absolutely gorgeous and after I saw Easy A, I was going around telling everyone that she was definitely the next Lindsay Lohan. A young, pretty redhead who can act pretty well and deliver laughs, right?

Then I caught Emma’s episode of SNL this weekend and eh, I dunno. Lohan kind of killed SNL her first time hosting and Emma’s whole episode was brought down by this one rude-ass impression she did of Lindsay. It could have been harsher, sure, but it was so unnecessary and the jokes were nothing new. In fact, they felt old. As if they were picked out of the carpet on the floor of the writer’s room.

I’m a gossip blogger. It’s kind of my job here to report all the details on people like Lindsay, but that’s Emma’s peer. A fellow young actress and one that was, at one time, hugely successful. The two look alike and so it’s natural that Emma would attempt an impression of her during the show, but the angle they took made the show look rustier than ever and Emma a little less classy.

What did you think of this sketch? I’d watch Fred do Joy Behar all day, BTW.