“He had a hand in raising me. I’m always gonna love that guy. He’s a genius, he’s an amazing artist.”

And by ‘Dad,’ I clearly mean ‘Marilyn Manson,’ because there are no other males allowed – did you hear me, you bitch, none! – in Evan Rachel Wood’s life, even if they are broken up. Ever.  He’ll cut you, you know.

Now this is a couple I could get behind! And I’m not joking! While I’m not a big Taylor Swift fan (her music is a little bit … young for me), she seems like a level-headed, down-to-earth girl who tries to live her life as normally as possible, while being a crazy, notebook-doodling, romantic fool for love. And you know, I actually think it’s pretty sweet. I mean, she’s like Stevie Nicks. … Just without all of those hard, hard drugs. And all of those hard, hard drugs. Did I mention the drugs?

Anyway, Us magazine has apparently got the scoop on the new relationship, and it’s exactly as schmoopy-lovey as you’d think it’d be, coming from two of Hollywood’s most maternal and paternal young figures. The first date? Apple picking. Yup. Apple picking. And then Jake and Taylor went and helped out at a soup kitchen, adopted a half-blind three-legged dog from their local chapter of the Humane Society and gave it to a terminal cancer patient in a children’s ward, and performed a cabaret version of The Lion King for a local Veteran’s home, all to raucous applause.

I’m kidding about the dog and the Vets, but I’m serious about the apple picking. This is apparently what they did. And you know what? Good for them. I think it’s actually pretty sweet, and I hope that these rumors turn out to be true. Because then, I will probably pay way more attention to Taylor Swift and her doings. And I’m just positive that she’d be thrilled over that.

30 Rock’s Cerie, played by actress Katrina Bowden, attended a CMJ  kick-off party hosted by The Street Syndicate (a small but dedicated media promotions company based in New Jersey) at Rebel NYC on Monday.  The party is held annually to mark the start of the week-long Music Marathon and Film Festival.  The party offered entertainment by Nada Surf and delicious beers by Lagunitas Brewing Company.  Katrina was spotted kissing a gentleman much shorter and much less attractive than she is while watching other attendees sing karaoke.  It was shocking how beautiful she is in real life.

On Sunday night, former NBA player Charles Barkley was spotted with friends in one of New York City’s finest cigar lounges, The Carnegie Club.  Although Sir Charles has a bad boy reputation, he was all class on Sunday buying a round for the entire bar.  He looked dapper in a button down striped shirt and was seen chatting it up with former boxer, Renaldo Snipes, and two unknown but beautiful blonds at the bar.  Charles Barkley, a current resident of Scottsdale, AZ, was in town to be a guest on The David Letterman Show.

The book release party for Going Mutant: The Bat Boy Exposed! was held last night in the East Village at the lovable dive, Lakeside Lounge.  Bat Boy was seen dancing it up in the back room for guests and was later escorted out by a nurse who provided him with a coat and hat as a disguise. The lounge was full of fresh copies of the new book just waiting to be signed by the author, in addition to glow-in-the-dark Bat Boy bobble-heads and action figures.
The book, written by Dr. Barry Leed, Ph.D (who mysteriously was not able to attend the event) and Neil McGinness, provides a thorough exploration of the history of Bat Boy in the media and the legend’s influence on  American culture.  This comprehensive account of Bat Boy manages to educate and intrigue the reader while maintaining its own comedic style.  So don’t wait!  The book is NOW AVAILABLE for sale online or at a book store near you!

Author Neil McGinness poses with Bat Boy and a friend.

This story starts out nicely, with Charlie in New York to visit ex-wife Denise Richards and their two children.  They stayed in a hotel in separate rooms, and while Denise tended to the children, Charlie’s night went in a different direction.

Cut to 2 AM this morning, when police arrived at Charlie’s hotel room to find him drunk and naked, and as one police officer said, “intoxicated, irrational, and emotionally disturbed.”  He’d thrown some furniture around, and he’d also fucked up the chandelier – classic Charlie.  And you know who called the police in the first place? The hooker who was hiding in the bathroom! She says that she and Charlie were just doing some boozing when he started flipping his shit because he couldn’t find his wallet, so she locked herself in the bathroom.  Anyway, the police officers were like “listen, buddy, you can go to the hospital or you can go to the police station, your call,” and of course Charlie chose the hospital.  He spent the night there, but tonight he’s heading back home to L.A., no harm, no foul.

Oh, but wait, guys, wait.  Charlie Sheen’s rep just made a little statement, and it turns out that Charlie wasn’t drinking. It was an allergic reaction to a medication, that’s why he went to the hospital.  Of course he didn’t get drunk and traumatize a prostitute.  Now don’t we all just look so silly?

This video of 8-year old Abigail Chu trying out for the part of Trasha in Scott Pilgrim has been circling the Internet today and it’s pretty incredible.

Abigail learned how to play the drums specifically for this part (which we all know by now she landed) and she’s actually pretty good at it for someone who probably can’t even read that well yet. She’s got a little flavor on her. The way she flips the bird to the camera at the end?

That’s an artist right there.