So what’s happening in this picture is Courtney Love is galavanting around shows for the Paris Fashion Week, looking classy as fuck. She’s not making a scene, she’s not wearing extremely unflattering clothes.  I’ve been studying this picture for a while now, and I can’t find a single thing trashy about her here.  You guys, she’s even wearing pearls.   Pearls. Maybe this really is a brand new Courtney (for public, anyway).

But just look at how sad she looks.  The girl is in Paris, looking super cute, and there’s even a reasonably attractive young man nearby holding a bunch of heart-shaped balloons – there is absolutely no reason to be making that kind of frowny face.  Except I think that Courtney knows it isn’t right.  She knows that she’s flying too close to the sun with this one, and that it’s only a matter of time before her pearl-encrusted wings melt away and she falls back down to reality.

These are the first up-close pictures I’ve seen of Benjamin Brady (in Miami yesterday with his nanny) since he was like, fresh out that womb and wrinkly as hell, and I have to say, he’s a pretty good-looking baby. He’s like a chill, subtle hottie. He has sensitive eyes. Is he sexy? No. I wouldn’t use that word. But he has time.

OK. Look at the above photo. And look at it carefully. Have you come to the conclusion as to how she did it, and how fast?

Easy.

Want the answer? Ready?

A: They Photoshopped the lower part of her body off.

Yup. The advertisement is for Alley’s latest diet scheme, Organic Liaison, and claims that the couple-time ‘fat actress’ lost over fifty pounds by following a strict exercise and diet plan and has intentions of losing another 40. Maybe next time? She’ll just be a torso.  And wouldn’t that just be poetic.

And guess who topped the list of single female celebrities? My very best Friend, Jennifer Aniston. As if that’d come as a surprise. It seems like whenever these ‘Most Eligible’ polls are conducted, the people behind them play Santa Claus and remind the world that these lucky celebrities are, indeed, still single and list reasons why you should go for it and try to lure both their attentions and reproductive organs.

So yes. I guess it’s only natural that the eternal bachelorette, Jennifer ‘Unlucky-in-Love’ Aniston, would top the list.

Others that placed?

Coming in at number two, Halle Berry, who recently split with baby daddy Gabriel Aubry. Number three is my girl Elin Nordegren, who recently walked away with a cool chunk of change. Number four is Betty White (which boggles my mind … I love Rose and all, but come on. Get over this revival nouveau already would you please). Coming in fifth place is Lady Gaga, and sixth is Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. … Yes, that Elena Kagan.

Any single ladies missing from this list? Are you surprised that, um, certain women did make the cut over others?

“People were coming up to me in the street and saying, ‘I cried and cried when I heard.’ … Well, I was sadder! I didn’t think it would ever happen, either. You bring people into your life at certain times. Maybe you have a relationship to have children, and you realize that it’s fulfilled after that point.”

The always-classy and tactful Susan Sarandon on the dissolution of her twenty-three year relationship with fellow actor Tim Robbins. May your relationship rest in piece, girl.

Monica Bellucci: Yup, still hot. [Celebslam]

Christina Hendricks takes the cover of Harper’s Bazaar and looks wicked fierce doing it. [popbytes]

Who do you think are the most detestable celebrities in Hollywood? You might be surprised … [Pajiba]

Amy Winehouse claims that she hasn’t used drugs in three years … and then she told me that the Toothfairy crept out of my closet and banged Santa Claus underneath my kitchen sink. True story. [Celebitchy]

Lisa Rinna got her lips kinda deflated … and now she’s barely recognizable. Give thanks to Jennifer Grey. [Amy Grindhouse]

What does Eminem have in common with Night at the Roxbury? [CityRag]

Serena Williams hangs out in a bikini with Common. Too much hotness for one photo, for real. [Pop on the Pop]

These chicks make politics hot, right? [Zelda Lily]

Margaret Cho can dance … but unfortunately, she went home. [OMGBlog]

Kelis is still really trying to do that whole music thing? Really? [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Kevin Jonas tattooed his wife’s name on his ring finger. I wonder what Jesus has to say about this. [Earsucker]