“Well, science is … we don’t really … that’s like … [He pauses. Then he waves his hands as if to say, “OK, an analogy”] If you’re trying to fuck a girl, but her mom’s home, fuck her mom! You understand? You want to fuck the girl, but her mom’s home? Fuck the mom. See? Now you don’t really feel that way. You don’t really hate her mom. But for this moment when you’re trying to fuck this girl, fuck her! And that’s what we mean when we say fuck scientists. Sometimes they kill all the cool mysteries away. When I was a kid, they couldn’t tell you how pyramids were made. Like Stonehenge and Easter Island. Nobody knows how that shit got there. But since then, scientists go, ‘I’ve got an explanation for that.’ It’s like, fuck you! I like to believe it was something out of this world.”
Apparently, Insane Clown Posse is a Christian band, and they related a lot of their most creative stuff to loving Jesus and fucking mothers. And hating science. Those weird, netty, science-hating motherfuckers. Thanks to The Superficial for the heads-up on this one.
Normally I’d say, ‘Hey, that’s personal,’ and I wouldn’t publish it, but the couple has made a fucking joint statement on their very unfortunate recent occurrence. From People:
‘We lost our unborn child about six weeks ago. ?We would like to thank all of those who expressed kindness and concern ?but we needed a little time to heal, time to find some solace before we? publicly acknowledged our loss.”
I mean, yeah, I guess it’s something that they would probably have had to publicly acknowledge at one point or another, to someone or another, considering that Kelsey Grammer’s kind of famous in certain circles and I’m sure someone, somewhere, would have eventually said, ‘Hey, didn’t Kelsey Grammer knock up his young-enough-to-be-his-daughter girlfriend a few months back? I wonder how they’re doing.’ So, yup, makes sense to a certain extent.
But then again, why even feel compelled to make a statement over certain things, to the public nonetheless, to begin with? Do we live in a society where we owe everyone and their mother a detailed explanation and daily breakdown of our lives week by week? I know if it were me, I’d be keeping my shit to myself. Especially about something like this. I’m really sorry that this whole thing happened and all, because losing a child has got to be really awful – in utero or not – but keep your business to yourself if you need to ‘heal.’
My prayers and good thoughts are with the couple during this horribly difficult time, but man. I guess nothing’s sacred these days.
Have you seen this video yet? Probably not. There wasn’t a huge amount of hubbub around it ’til it started pissing parents off, so there you have it. Guess it mustn’t have been all that great to begin with.
My take? The video’s really stupid. And, yup, so is the song if you’re wondering my take on that, too. Miley’s bumping and grinding in a white beater is painfully awkward, the synthesizers don’t quite take the nasal quality away from her voice entirely enough, and her chipmunk grill is overly-accentuated by the strobe lights in the discotheque.
Parents Television Council president Tim Winter claims that Miley’s sending the wrong message to today’s kids:
“It is unfortunate that she would participate in such a sexualized video like this one. It sends messages to her fan base that are diametrically opposed to everything she has done up to this point. Miley built her fame and fortune entirely on the backs of young girls, and it saddens us that she seems so eager to distance herself from that fan base so rapidly.”
I mean, yeah. She’s writhing pantsless on a bed and rubbing up on her chest and frankly, the girl’s got some great legs, but I think the whole thing comes off about as sexual as The Care Bears in Concert.
The love of crazy hats is genetic, did you not know that?
But really, this is a little segment from Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time, a new show that premieres on Tuesday night on Comedy Central, and I love it. Nick Swardson is one of my favorite comics – back when I still went to see movies in theatres (this was back before an old woman sat down right next to me in the nearly vacant theatre while I was trying to watch Watchmen in peace. I was like “look, lady, I know you’re shocked that there’s a giant blue penis right there in front of you, but if it shocks you that much, why don’t you go back to reading that newspaper you have on your lap?” She kind of ruined watching movies in public for me for a while), there was a good few years when it seemed like he popped up in every movie (The Benchwarmers, Blades of Glory, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. I guess I didn’t watch a lot of great movies), and then I listened to his stand-up, and now here we are.
If you guys could just do me a solid and watch this show on Tuesday so it doesn’t get cancelled like Michael and Michael Have Issues did, I would really appreciate it.
You know these ladies. Kate Major, former girlfriend of Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin, and Tila Tequila … well, I think we’re all familiar with Tila Tequila’s contributions to the world. This picture was taken of the two women out at a party in L.A., and don’t they just look so chummy? Understandably so – can you imagine the kind of hijinks these two could get in together? Tila could introduce Kate to the world of music, and Kate could introduce Tila to the world of dating shady dudes. This is the new Laverne and Shirley, guys, believe it.
Also, in that picture there, do you guys see a little scar where Tila’s oversized bandaid used to be, or is that just me?
Well i think Taylor is a slut wearing those type of clothing and i wont be surpised if she goes out and she gets raped, why the hell is she wearing those clothing? thinking she looks cool, hot?? fuck no she looks like a hooker wanting...
She. Is. Marvelous. Seriously marvelous. And super gorgeous. I am not generally a fan of short hair, on guys or girls (late ’90s men’s fashion was a nightmare for me, and I was only in middle school), but she looks so...
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