Just kidding, he doesn’t really discuss his platform.  Because he doesn’t have one.  Because he has no business being in any position that would require him to have a political platform.

If you’ll remember, Levi Johnston announced back in August that he was planning on running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, so the boy’s actually had two months to consider his political stances.  But really, regardless of how long he’s been planning on running for mayor, if a person announces that he plans on running for a political office, within a few seconds of that announcement, he should probably be able to state some ideas, just based on the fact that most people think about things.  For example, “I’m running for mayor and I hope to plant some trees,” or “I’m running for mayor and if elected, I plan on allocating roughly half the budget to preparing for the zombie apocalypse.”  Both of those things sound better than Levi’s response.

And if Levi’s response didn’t make him sound like enough of a dumbass child, one of the ladies of The View simply responded with “oh, Levi” in that special pitying tone.  It’s the same tone that my mother used when I was nine and decided that I wanted to use various soaps and perfumes and cleaning solutions to make my own perfume, and when it didn’t end up smelling too great, decided to instead test how flammable it was, and it’s definitely the same tone that she used when I drunk dialed her last year to let her know that I was going to go watch porn with this guy I just met right after I laid on the lawn and pretended to be in Fern Gully.  It’s the sad sort of resignation that’s only reserved for those situations when you really have nothing else to say to a person besides an “oh” followed by his name.

“Oh, Levi” indeed.

Shenae Grimes. You know her from the crappy 90210 reboot. And yup, before you go on ahead and start biting my head off for saying that this generation’s 90210 frankly SUCKS, allow me to inform you that I not only survived — and remembered wholly — the original 90210, but I was somewhat of a fiending addict.

Anyway, Shenae was photographed in Hawaii (not filming, just chilling) in this odd getup of a bathing suit. And by it, I am confused. Are they granny panties? Spanx? Is it … oh lord have mercy … a girdle? And the gold lamé top? Might be alright if it didn’t squish and flatten her boobs into sloppy oblivion.

The hair’s cute, I appreciate a woman who can lounge by the beach or pool sans makeup and jewelry (and what the fuck — aside from stupidity, that is — is that shit anyway?), and the girl’s got a cute little bod, but the suit? Don’t even get me started.

Elle magazine debuted its 17th annual Women in Hollywood issue this past week, honoring various women who achieved accomplishment in Hollywood both in directorial and acting capacities. The women, Jodie Foster, Diane Keaton, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Hudson (… lolandwtf), Sofia Coppola, Hilary Swank, Kerry Washington, Diane Kruger, and Jessica Chastain (who appeared on ER, Veronica Mars, and is starring in the upcoming Al Pacino flick, Salomaybe?).

The women were honored for breaking glass ceilings in the industry and being all-around fabulous actresses.  And that’s super.

But me? I’m happy for them and all, but my favorite part of this event was being able to see the fabulous dresses and fresh, happy, shiny faces of some of Hollywood’s most talented women.

Enjoy!

Um, yup, according to X17, this is supposed to be the truth and the gals are already vacationing together. Remember when we claimed that Christina’s main reason behind splitting with Jordan Bratman was because she liked hooking up with other women on the not-so-sly? Turns out Samantha Ronson was one of those women.

From a source inside X17:

Ever since Samantha went to Cabo with Xtina, “the two have been inseparable,” says our source. “I’ve seen them hanging out together. Christina Aguilera really lets down her guard around Sam. They’re very comfortable with each other.”

The pop star was even seen leaving Sam’s place late at night earlier this week AND she stopped by The Roxy on Sunday to see her new favorite DJ spin.

Also, Samantha, who never appeared to be all that happy with ex-girlfriend Lindsay, is said to be happier than ever because Christina’s pretty low-key and drama-free:

“Our source also reveals that the twosome’s relationship is nothing like the one Samantha had with Lindsay Lohan. “Their relationship is different because Christina doesn’t create the kind of drama that Lindsay did.”

So what do you guys think? I mean, totally put aside the fact that Christina would probably never mess with someone who was up close and personal with Lindsay Lohan’s spotty vagina. Believable?

Miley Cyrus has been so over the paparazzi for quite some time now, and she’s been venting her frustrations more and more openly lately.

Yesterday some paparazzi continued to follow her after they’d already “gotten their picture” and were so desperate to catch up to her, that they cut off another driver. At that point Miley stopped her car, flagged down the driver they cut off and apologized profusely for the camera man’s behavior. Then she calmly approached the paparazzi in their car and told him that he was putting people in danger and that there was no where else to follow her for the rest of the day.

I’m shocked at how maturely Miley handled this situation. Props, girl.

Amy Sedaris is absolutely hilarious and too cute for words, so she’s basically the best talkshow guest on the planet. She’s killed it on Martha, she’s killed it on Chelsea, but she has a very special relationship with David Letterman.

Last night she sat down with the legendary late night host to discuss her new book, Simple Times: Crafting for Poor People, and it really was just about the most delightful eight minutes of television that I’ve watched in some time.

What killed me? When Dave asked Amy why she hadn’t been on the show in so long, the single and child-free Sedaris replied, “Well, I’ve been busy. You know, when you’ve got family… Oh, wait. That’s right.”