“Me and my mom first came up with Willowettes, and then we came up with Warriorettes. It takes a warrior to stand up for themselves and not let anybody tell them that what they’re wearing or what they’re saying or what they’re doing is wrong. It takes a warrior to do that, but it still takes sensitivity … also. We were kind of sloshing between Warriorettes and Willowettes, so we just called them Warriorettes, ’cause that’s the stuff that you need to do that. ‘Whip My Hair’ means don’t be afraid to be yourself and don’t let anybody tell you that that’s wrong. Because the best thing is you.”

How darling is this girl?  I may not be all about that “Whip My Hair” song  - which is not to say that she isn’t a talented kid, it’s just not really my jam – but I’ll be damned if that little statement didn’t touch my heart.  Because the best thing is you, you guys.  Do you understand what Willow’s trying to communicate with this?  Adorable.

On a different note, I’m not going to play like the minute I heard about this song I didn’t think about Chris Crocker’s preciously wackadoodle “It’s a Hair Flip” video.  Is it too soon to request a Chris Crocker/Willow Smith collaboration?

I know, it’s a lot to take in.  Let’s start with the part about the killing.

Remember that tiger safari that Russell and Katy were going to treat their wedding guests to during their stay in India?  Well, that happened, and a Jeep full of photographers (like AP and Reuters guys, not like National Enquirer guys) followed a few hundred feet behind.  When they were spotted and as Russell watched on, the security guards promptly approached them to assault them and steal their car keys, and then leave them alone and bleeding amidst the inhabitants of the national park:  tigers, leopards, hyenas, and boars, to name a few.  They didn’t get eaten by animals though – some park rangers got their keys back.

I think it was pretty lucky that no one got eaten on account of Russell Brand, because that would have put a damper on his wedding day (good segue, right?)!  There aren’t any pictures of the ceremony yet, but you can read every detail of the traditional Indian wedding here, if you’re into that sort of thing, but I’ll go ahead and give you a few of my favorite details:

The traditional Indian rituals observed by the couple included walking around a sacred fire seven times while reciting Sanskrit mantras and tying a special wedding scarf together to symbolise their united partnership.

Perry and Brand’s parents were expected to be heavily involved in the ceremony, with Brand requesting permission to marry Perry by stooping to touch her father and mother’s feet – a sign of deep respect in Indian culture.

Perry, 26, was rumoured to be wearing a dress designed to incorporate a traditional Indian sari and white western gown.

Guests were presented with a box containing four spice-filled pouches, which had been carefully stitched by a group of beautiful local village women working at a nearby craft initiative called Dastkar.

It sounds like a nice event, doesn’t it?  Let’s hope those nice parts last and not those “left for tiger bait” parts.

Even though Christina filed for divorce from husband Jordan Bratman last week, and even though the two have been separated since September 11th, they’re still living together.  And that sounds like an uncomfortable situation.

From TMZ:

It’s hard enough getting a bad tenant out of an apartment.  So just imagine Christina Aguilera’s dilemma — her hubby is still living in the family home with no plan to move and it’s really awkward … sources tell TMZ.

As TMZ first reported, Aguilera filed for divorce from Jordan Bratman last week after nearly five years of marriage. But despite the fact they’ve been separated since September 11, neither has moved out of their Bev Hills home.

Our sources say it’s so uncomfortable for Christina, she’s been staying in a hotel.

It’s not incredibly clear to me, but doesn’t it sound like Jordan is just hanging out?  Like things weren’t working in their marriage, so they did the separation, and then Christina filed for divorce and just kind of assumed that Jordan would find somewhere else to live, but he didn’t pick up on that, so he’s still there, totally clueless, all “this is good, I’ll just stay in this other room, no prob, right?”

The answer is no, of course Kristen Stewart is not the next Meryl Streep.  That’s preposterous.  Meryl Streep is capable of evoking emotions and changing facial expressions on film, and Kristen is just not there yet.  But then again, that’s my my opinion.

Jake Scott, the director of Kristen’s new movie, Welcome to the Rileys, has a very different opinion of Kristen:

“She’s grown up, you know. She’s a woman now. She was a girl, or a young woman, when I first met her… I’ve known her three years and she’s just become this wonderful woman. She’s gonna do some um… I mean.. That’s some Meryl Streep stuff, you know?”

And then James Woods, who happens to be directing Kristen in a movie called American Girl, had similar things to say:

“The really great ones kind of submerge themselves. I always say that Kristen is like Brando, and I’ve always thought that she had that incredible sort of internal ability to submerge into the role and be lost in it in a good way. You know, so I see that with the best actors, DeNiro’s like that, so many good actors are like that. I have from the second I saw her in the Panic Room. I just thought this kid has something different. She just has something different. She just has insight, that unique insight that certain people have. You’re not getting a cookie cutter performance. You’re getting something that you don’t expect. You don’t know where to go and you kind of take the ride. I think she has the potential to be one of the best of her generation if not the best.”

You know, I agree with some of what James Woods had to say.  I agree that with Kristen’s work, you’re getting something that you don’t expect.  I certainly didn’t expect an actress who seems to have such little talent for acting to get so much work.  She’s like a one trick pony, except the trick is really lame and not impressive at all, but a lot of people thing that the pony has a pretty coat so they like to bring her out to shows under the pretense of doing that one trick.  And that’s not right.

But hey, it’s two against one right now, so maybe I’m wrong.  What about you guys?  Are you Team James Woods or Team Lame Pony?

If not, you should have, because it was spectacular.  If you’re not familiar with the event, it’s a benefit for autism education that Jon Stewart hosts on Comedy Central.  It’s also incredibly awesome.

Some of my favorite bits include the one where Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan sing “Scarborough Fair” and are later joined by Paul Simon (spoiler alert:  the three of them end up performing “Gin and Juice” instead), the one where Steve Carell holds hands with Naomi Watts and another woman while simulating an orgasm, and that video above where Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert sing a jaunty little song about 2009′s favorite pilot, Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger.  I can’t find any video of my very favorite thing that happened at the event though, which was the part where Jim Parsons and Mike Birbiglia sat next to each other and smiled (Bazinga! and Pachoo!, respectively).

So far, they’ve raised just over $3.2 million  for autism education, which is pretty impressive.  They’re still taking donations though, so if you happen to have any extra income that you’d like to donate, hop on over to the Comedy Central site, and if you don’t have extra money, go ahead and just enjoy the beautiful clips.

Lisa Marie Presley gave Oprah what she said would be her last interview about Michael Jackson ever and damn, homegirl has stayed honest all these years. I love Lisa Marie. She’s the best Oprah guest ever because she is always dropping bombs.

In the video above she speaks about the day she learned of his death and how she actually got the news from none other than Oprah’s favorite human being, JOHN TRA-VOL-TAAAAAHHHH!

I’m glad that Lisa Marie did this interview and especially glad that she did it with Oprah, but I’m really the most thankful that this is the last time she’s going to comment about their marriage publicly. It’ll be another 20 years before I can get behind sitting through another Michael Jackson retrospective.