Today's Evil Beet Gossip

New Video Alert: Wanna See 30 Full Minutes of Kanye Rapping?

Because, man if you do, you’re in luck. West’s video for his new single ‘Runaway’ has hit the ‘net and the sucker’s thirty-four minutes long. That’s like a fucking sitcom! Only it stars Kanye West, and it’s got quite a lot of singing on it, so it’s also kind of like Glee maybe. But I don’t think even Glee would stoop to doing a Kanye episode, so maybe it’s actually nothing like Glee. But regardless, the video is as long as it takes me to do a load of laundry in my fancy-schmaltzy high-efficiency washer and have a cup of coffee — or two.

Seriously though, guys, there’s a few things that I’m in dire need of for this lifetime to be considered ‘successful,’ but that many minutes — in one sitting — of Kanye West? So not on the order, and I feel kind of violated that some pimply-faced cashier would even try to slip that into my grocery bag when I wasn’t looking. See what happens when you begin to get complacent? Constant vigilance!

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