After failing two drug tests in the short time since she’s been released from jail, the judge went hard on Lindsay Lohan yesterday, throwing her in back in the clink without bail until it’s time for her sentencing. Lindz wound up getting out of jail by the end of the day because a another judge decided that since the initial crime she was on probation for was a misdemeanor, she was entitled to bail. However, homegirl has a stricter list of rules to follow now than ever.

Apparently Lindsay had to throw down $300,000 in bail, agree to be searched by law enforcement at any time, not hang out with any “known drug users”, not attend any night clubs in which alcohol is the main item on the menu and not hold or use any illegal substances. She’s also getting the SCRAM slapped back on.

At this point, I’m dying to get inside of Lindsay’s head for a day or even just five minutes. Common sense tells you that someone who’s even slightly remorseful for their behavior would not spend the week after being released from jail running around town doing blow and hitting up nightclubs. And how can she not be sorry? Is Lindsay Lohan like this because she doesn’t see herself ever being any other way? Two weeks ago, Lindsay was released from rehab early because even the doctors said she’d done everything she could in treatment and was ready to be put back out into the world.

If any kind of punishment is going to work at this point, it’s going to be a long-term, isolated rehabilitation experience at a hardcore facility (none of that Promises bullshit) and complete separation from Hollywood. I would guess that it would take at least a year to break her of her ways, and that’s really only with her cooperation.

We found out last week that she prefers father to her mother, but I don’t think I’ve seen any photos of Naleigh since she was adopted. She’s looking a little bleary eyed in these photos (the two had just arrived at JFK) but generally adorable. There haven’t been any public updates on the status of her heart condition, but she seems like a healthy and happy child.

If you guessed Nikki Blonsky, dude you’d be wrong.

So, who’s the woman in the above photograph? Jump in to find out her identity and some pretty sordid stuff about her past!

(more…)

Leave it. In the cheaply-designed Sun-In box that it came from. Then, if you saved the receipt, drive your ass back to the discount store that you bought it from and beg the pimply-faced Assistant Manager to give you your money back.

But either way, you’re fucked, Katherine. One, ’cause it’s a really unfortunate corn-stained mess of a color, and two, because duh, stores don’t give refunds these days — just store credit.

Ha.

In a turn of events that frankly shocked everyone, Lindsay Lohan has landed her ass back in jail not thirty days after being released. And she’s not being held with any bail, either. This means she could be sitting in jail for the next thirty days.

Canyoufuckingbelieveit.

Lohan was due in court today after failing two drug tests — one for cocaine, and one for Adderall. Rumors had also been circulating that she was back in the old drinking saddle, too.

People “close” to Lindsay’s camp claim that they’re shocked, because they didn’t expect the judge to remand her to jail so quickly, nor did they expect to see bail denied.

Story developing …

Court sketch courtesy of TMZ

“It’s over. The franchise is dead. The press killed it. Your magazine fucking killed it. New York Magazine. It’s like all the critics got together and said, ‘This franchise must die.’ Because they all had the exact same review. It’s like they didn’t see the movie. Got any more gum?”

- Chris Noth telling New York Magazine how hurt he was by the Sex and the City 2 reviews.

Ok, Chris, listen.  Maybe they didn’t see the movie, maybe that’s true.  Or maybe it was just a shitty movie, and everyone could tell. This is kind of like Lindsay Lohan saying “It’s over.  The cocaine-fueled, booze-soaked period of my life is over because the police got together and said, ‘This is illegal.’  Got anymore Kombucha?”  There always comes a point when you just have to know when to let go. And it’s time, Chris.  It’s time to let it go.