We’re not around today, so allow the Black Eyed Peas to entertain you with their song of the same name. (And yeah, sorry for the horrible choice in songs, but it’s not as if there’s a whole lot of “Labor Day” songs floating around out there.)

Catch you tomorrow!

Have you seen it yet?  I’ve been thinking about it, because I do enjoy horror movies and movies featuring water (which I realize sounds kind of lame, but come on.  Anaconda?  Titanic? The Little Mermaid?  I never stood a chance.), and I also have one of those friends who yells incessantly at the screen during horror movies, which is always awesome.

Anyway, apparently enough people have seen Piranha to warrant a sequel.  And I’m not excited because of any preconceived notion that the first Piranha is groundbreaking enough to necessitate another movie or anything like that.  I’m excited because there is going to be an online contest where you can vote on which actor you’d most like to see become a victim in the Piranha sequel.  And that is a level of power that I’ve never dreamed of.

All right, this news begs the question:  which celebrity would you want to see attacked by piranhas?  Perhaps a little Bieber action, or maybe the sequel could take place at the Jersey Shore and we could get an eight-for-one deal.  Oh, or Kristen Stewart could struggle against the killer fish in her trademark stiff and emotionless way.  See, the possibilities are endless!

Yeah, all you eligible bachelors out there best get your meth on and do your damnedest to snag this gem up before someone else does.  Amy broke up with her boyfriend, Reg Traviss, back in August after some photos were released of Reg hanging out with an ex-girlfriend.  Tough break for Amy.

The original story was published in The Sun, and here’s a quote from their source:

“She (Winehouse) hasn’t spoken to Reg since and she’s told everyone that it’s over. She’s pretty cut up (upset) about it, she was serious about him. Amy is confused and vulnerable.”

“Confused and vulnerable,” you guys.  That’s a hot mess indicator if I’ve ever heard one.  And I’m already right, because it turns out that Amy has a brand new roomie, Pete Doherty.  You guys know who Pete Doherty is, right?  He’s in The Libertines and Babyshambles, and he sings songs like “Fuck Forever” and he also does heroin.  Match made in heaven, right?

“Harry Potter is not Twilight, you know; we’re not selling sex.”

- Emma Watson giving another reason why Harry Potter is different from Twilight. I think that brings the count of differences up to two:  Harry Potter doesn’t sell sex, and Twilight doesn’t have any literary value.  Oh wait, the vampires in Harry Potter don’t sparkle in the sunlight.

Feel free to add your own list of differences in the comments.

So there’s a new Lady Gaga biography called Poker Face:  The Rise and Rise of Lady Gaga.  That’s all well and good, but in the book, Gaga’s old tour manager, David Ciemny, makes some pretty worrisome statements about the singer’s health.  According to him, Lady Gaga has a habit of alternating between binging junk food and not eating altogether, and her eating habits put her in the hospital six times in 2009 alone.

I believe it, but mostly just because I tend to believe everything I hear about Lady Gaga.  If I was at the mall and some preteen in skinny jeans jumped out of the Hot Topic and told me that Lady Gaga was downtown, naked and riding around on a tiger, I’d be all “shut up, kid,” but a decent part of me would be like “I can see it.”  It just seems like she’s been trying so hard for the past year or so to make the world believe that she’s unique, a special kind of artist that the world’s never seen before, and the argument can definitely be made that at the root of all that is a girl who just really wants to be special and adored.

At the end of the day, if you love her or hate her, it’s clear that the girl’s got problems, and I’m just saying that I wouldn’t be surprised if this was one of them.

I know you guys, this is a completely new rumor that just started recently.  Crazy, right?  Who would have thought?

Ok, ok but seriously, there’s a brand new rumor about John Travolta’s sexuality, and that’s what this is about.  Apparently, John’s been dabbling around in the gay spa subculture (which really,all jokes aside, just sounds delightful).

Here’s a quote from a little memoir called You’ll Never Spa in This Town Again:

“I met John in 1998, after he had married Kelly. I believe the marriage is a total fraud because John is totally into guys and has been having sex with them behind Kelly’s back for years … John Travolta has been cheating on Kelly for years! And when the details emerge, he’s gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout.”

I don’t think anything’s ever going to come from these rumors.  People have been saying John Travolta is gay for years, and unless dudes start turning up saying that they banged John like those ladies did with Tiger, then I am not so interested.  Unless pictures turn up of John Travolta in a shady bathhouse, then I’d be interested, but just a little bit.