John Mayer’s Twitter account, which has been a point of contention for many people including ex-girlfriends, attractive black women who agree that Mayer is racist, and other groups that just downright despise John Mayer for being John Mayer (oh! Like me!), is officially off.
The douche’s Twitter account had over 3.7 million followers — for some reason that’s probably akin to watching a train filled with puppies derail — but Mayer recently said that he has plans to communicate with fans via his blog instead of tweeting to his heart’s content.
My thoughts? Oh, yes. It’s a lie, it’s a sham, it’s a total farce. John Mayer, communicate with fans via anything other than Twitter? Ha! Nope. He’s gonna start showing up at people’s front doors now. You just wait and see.
And please start with me, John. I have a giant wad of raw hamburger that I’d love to shove down your throat.
Reps for both Penelope Cruz and new husband Javier Bardem have confirmed just in the past few hours that the recent Pirates of the Caribbean star is pregnant with the couple’s first child, and is four-and-a-half months along. Bardem, obviously, is the father. Otherwise I highly doubt that his PR people would be confirming this pregnancy. But hey. Stranger things have happened.
I know a lot of you guys aren’t huge fans of Penny, but you know what? I am. And I think that she’s going to make a great mom. She’s super hot, talented, and she does good things for humanity. I totally dig her. So, congratulations, parents. And for all of you haters out there, here’s a gallery of the hottest Penelope photos — and I dare you to say otherwise.
This is the last VMA post you’ll see out of me, promise.
So did anyone make it to the end of the show to see Kanye perform the Ultimate Frat Boy/Shitty Ex-Boyfriend/Rapist anthem “Runaway” aka “Toast For The Douchebags”? If you didn’t, be glad. The message of this song gave me nightmares.
You see, Kanye wanted to make an anthem for all those guys you sleep with who never call, the guys who tell blab to their friends what you’re like in bed, the ones that make you feel like a jerk for caring. Total shitheads, basically. Because he identifies himself as one of them, obviously.
While I hate to admit it, there’s something a little clever about this jam. It’s true. This is very much a type of person and to my knowledge, they’ve never been portrayed in a song favorably. I guess someone had to do it.
Still, with MTV’s super impressionable audience and your typical rap listener not really taking into the account the meaning behind a song’s lyrics, I fear that this is going to become some sort of anthem for poorly behaved men. Pop songs allow for social forgiveness. Look at “Blame It On The Alcohol” or “It Wasn’t Me”. Last thing our world’s women need is a bunch of lame dudes with shitty behavior toasting themselves because Kanye said it was OK.
Lady Gaga, as we’ve already discussed, was quite the spectacle at last night’s VMAs and her acceptance speech for Video of the Year was the highlight.
You see, Lady Gaga seems to be confused. She seems to think that there’s something small, quirky and art house-ish about her style and music, but both are some of the most commercial stuff out there. At one point during the evening she addressed her Little Monsters in the crowd and said, “Tonight, we’re the cool kids.”
But that’s so disingenuous. This is Gaga’s second year doing well at the VMAs and her second year living as a massive celebrity. She’s praised on the covers of fashion magazines and music journals alike. She’s been declared an icon, the new Queen of Pop. She’s not an “uncool kid” if she means it in the popularity sense. Not by any stretch.
The drama that was her acceptance speech for Video of the Year is what put me over the top. Through tears, she announced that her new album would be called, “Born This Way” and then sang a few lines from its title track. “Born This Way”, huh? So you’ll finally be putting an album out under the name “Stefani Germanotta”? Or do you expect us to believe that you were born with Diet Coke curlers in your hair?
It’s not that I think Lady Gaga is untalented or unworthy of her fans, I just think she needs to quit this bit. She’s like the former fat girl in high school who still walks around telling people that she’s fat or something. How many size 0s is this dumbass going to have to zip herself up into before she sees what we see?
God, I hope that young American girls had their eyes and ears open last night for Florence and the Machine’s VMA performance because it was just stunning.
Last night while my friends and I were watching the show, I said, “If I was a 12 year old girl, this performance would be important to me for the rest of my life.”
My girl Jen was like, “Um, it’s important to me for the rest of my life.”
And I was all, “No. A genuine 12 year old girl. This show is made for tweens and teens and that’s why most of this crap is Drake and Taylor Swift and that DJ Mouse. Do you remember when we weren’t even 12 yet and No Doubt performed at the VMAs and changed the way you felt about being a woman and music and clothes and everything? For the world’s current 12 year old girls, this is their Gwen Stefani moment. After a night of watching nothing but crap, they get to see an unconventional woman with an amazing voice put on a show that you can’t take your eyes off of. This is a special moment for young girls.”
Everyone looked at me like I was kind of crazy except for my roommate. She just nodded because she’s really supportive and kind. But I think I’m right, guys. I think that on last night’s buffet of crap, Florence was the ambrosia.
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