There’s this video going around today of Miley Cyrus bitching out the paparazzi after she leaves a Thai restaurant with Demi Lovato and I think the common opinion might be that she’s acting like her bratty self, but I actually felt a little sad for her while watching this.

Here’s the scenario: Miley arrived alone to the restaurant and valeted her car. As she was walking in to meet her friend, she kind of snapped at a couple of the photogs. There’s some video of Miley and Demi talking over dinner and from the look on Miley’s face, they’re discussing something very teenage and dramatic. I kept thinking that they looked like any two normal girlfriends eating dinner and complaining about the men in their life or what have you. After they were done eating, Demi and Miley left the restaurant together and the cameras started flashing. This is where things get a little bit uncomfortable for me.

After a moment or two of letting the paps have their way with them, Miley asks them to put their cameras down. Of course it was in her typical “10-year-old-birthday-girl-meets-a-raptor” tone, but it doesn’t take much to realize that she’s just over having her picture taken in that moment. Then Miley pulled her jacket over her face and stood next to a bush while she continued to wait for her car.

That’s so sad, you guys. I mean, in the grand scheme of things it’s certainly not that bad, but can you imagine hiding under your jacket in the bushes because a dozen grown men are sticking cameras in your faces and calling out things to antagonize you? And this is far from the worst paparazzi footage we’ve seen. I can’t imagine that it’s too big of a leap from this to freaking out on someone with an umbrella.

GQ decided to bring in the dudes from Jersey Shore and make them over for their new issue. What you see above is the “before” shot. The guys who are famous for their overly-gelled hair, cut off tanks and cheesy shades don’t look too much different in their “after” pics (in the gallery), but they look slightly less corny than usual. Hey! I’m trying to keep it positive!

If you’ve been watching The Real Housewives of D.C., you’re totally familiar with the fame-hungry and super desperate Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the owners and operators of Oasis Winery in Virginia. The couple also made headlines last year when they snuck into the Congressional Black Caucas Dinner and Bravo is quickly realizing that these two are serious trouble in the making.

From a source who spoke to PopEater:

“The DC show is the only show in the entire franchise that isn’t a true hit. And the Salahi’s are the biggest reason for that. At first, execs thought they struck gold with all the attention the couple got over the White House dinner. But now they realize not all press is good press and this couple’s involvement in the show has turned more viewers off than on.”

But the straw that broke the camel’s back was not the drama within the show, but the drama the Salahi’s have been creating off-screen. After they crashed the White House dinner, the couple refused to discuss the incident publicly and claimed that Bravo silenced them with a NDA. Bravo responded to these claims and said that the Salahi’s are under no such contract. They gave PopEater the following statement, “Bravo [has] consistently and repeatedly stated to the Salahis and their representatives that they were free to speak to press, law enforcement, Congress and anyone else about attending the State Dinner. Indeed, they have given multiple press interviews on that very subject.”

See ya, Tareq and Michaele.

But really, I don’t know if I can handle it.  The movie itself is certainly not my cup of tea (I don’t tend to care about spies and guns and non-stop action and Angelina Jolie movie plots), but come on.  I am a person who is alive in America, of course I find Johnny Depp and Angelina attractive.  And you know what the best part is?  Paul Bettany’s there too.  I have the purest, most monumental love for Paul Bettany.  Who’s with me?

All right, if you care about plot or whatever, here’s the synopsis from Monsters and Critics:

‘The Tourist’ revolves around Frank (Johnny Depp), an American tourist visiting Italy to mend a broken heart. While on his trip he meets Elise (Angelina Jolie), a mysterious woman who deliberately crosses his path. Frank follows Elise in the quest of love, but finds himself caught up in a whole lot of trouble.

The thing is, all that talk of mystery and danger will just be white noise to me.  Do you see the picture I am painting for you guys?  I am overwhelmed by the visual appeal of this film.  That is all I’m saying with this.

I hate you for being the overexposed reality stars that you are (and yup, I’m totally aware that I only contribute to the absurdity by writing about you), I hate you for helping young adults to think that life on The Hills is what real life is actually like, and I hate the way that you so shamelessly fuck the media in public, and at every opportunity that you can muster.

This “divorce” that the two douche asses have been talking about as of late? Yeah, total confirmed BS obviously. Heidi and Spencer, famewhore and famewhorette respectively, were caught frenching at the Santa Barbara zoo yesterday for Heidi’s birthday. And, you know, if it were any other couple on the face of the earth (say like Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green) that were reconciling, I’d be like, “Aw, damn, see? True love always sometimes wins out — even in the face of alimony.” But no. Not these two. I actually hate the fact that they’re getting back together or “seeing each other,” or whatever other 7th grade status label they’re going to affix to their relationship for the public eye. Because that’s what it’s all for — the public eye. And I hate it. And I hate it most of all because it means that I’m probably going to continue writing about these two talentless schmoes until they finally do drop off of the radar, and thus continue to do my part in perpetuating the self-absorbed filth that they peddle.

This is very bad news for me, and for mankind in general.

“I’ll go to frickin’ Barnes & Nobles, get a coffee and just sit down and read. No one would ever think that. We have different sides to us and people don’t see that.”

Sorry, honey, but the reason that no one’s talked about seeing you at Barnes & Noble or Borders is because they don’t want to embarrass you any more than you already do yourself — don’t I keep telling you that Green Eggs and Ham doesn’t exactly count?