Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Have Career Advice For Alexis Neiers

Alexis Neiers to Pen Book

I just saw that Bling Ring Queen Bee, Alexis Neiers is planning on writing a book and I was all, “Where can I buy a copy and will she be doing a signing at The Grove Barnes & Noble?”

Then I continued to read and was very disappointed to find out that homegirl thinks she’s going to write a fiction jumpoff.

From TMZ:

The description, we’re told, reads in part: “Think Gossip Girl goes to Hollywood — It is a cautionary tale as well as a guilty pleasure; the reader is plunged into the crazy, out-of-control world of one of Hollywood’s most infamous party girls.” Oddly, no mention of her being an ex-con.

Guuuuurrrrl. No! NO! I will not stand for this. The only book that Alexis Neiers needs to write is her memoirs. I want to read the memoirs of a barely legal burglar from a wealthy family and that’s all I want to read.

That’s the rule in general for celebrity books. I want to read whatever that famous person thinks is the most balanced, honest and interesting representation of themselves and then I want to laugh at it. Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dating book is like, off the chains insane. And have you read Tori Spellings books? Bitch is on one. You know whose memoirs I really enjoyed, though? Faith Evans. She had a ghostwriter and it read a little bit like she was trying to do a Maya Angelou impression, but there was some solid stuff in there.

While were here, does anyone have any good celebrity memoir recommendations for me?

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