IT’S TIME FOR THE EMMY DRESSES!!!

Sorry it took me so long to get these dresses up. Stephen Moyer glamoured me. No, actually he didn’t, but it took me like an hour to break past my sexual fantasies about him and write this post.

So, to the dresses:

My winner of this group is Glee‘s Dianna Agron. She looks stunning, stunning, stunning. I want to see more of this girl.

Jenna Fischer, if you can believe it, was a red carpet fail. That was sarcastic. I’m sure she’s a very nice girl, but, like, Jenna, it’s been years of this. When you first got famous, I was willing to give you a little leeway on the red carpet issues, but it’s been too long now. Steve Carrell’s had time to make like 20 shitty movies since The Office hit it big, but you haven’t found time to hire a stylist. I mean, who the hell told you to go to a red carpet event wearing a dress the same color as a red carpet? (Side note: Save Dinner with Schmucks for when it comes out on DVD. And you find that DVD in the county dump.)

In this gallery: Lea Michele, Kelly Osbourne, Jewel, Jesalyn Gilsig, Jennifer Carpenter, Jenna Fischer, Jayma Mays, Jane Lynch, Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes, Eva Longoria Parker, Emily Deschanel, Emily Blunt, Elizabeth Moss, Dianna Agron, Christina Hendricks, Cheryls Hines and Burke, Carrie Ann Inaba, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer and Angela Kinsey.

More to come …

…except they grew up together and went to the same high school at the same time. However, Gaga says that just because they were bred in the same environment doesn’t mean that they have anything in common, just like a popular girl and a freak at any other high school in America:

‘It’s true [that we went to school together], but I don’t see [Paris] as an artist. People assume that all the girls who went to my school were like Nicky and Paris, and the truth is that I went to a very, very religious school and some girls were very artistic and some did drugs and didn’t give a fuck. It was just like any other high school. Except we had nuns. [At school] I was the smart, studious theatre and music student. I didn’t hang out with all the popular blonde girls. I wasn’t blonde really until I was 20 years old.’

Makes sense. I can’t even identify most of my former classmates in the yearbook anymore. Zero memory of their existence. That’s how important the people you knew in high school are to your adult life, folks.

But the Convent of the Sacred Heart, where both women attended, is a really small school. You know that even if Gaga and Paris never did the BFF thing that they still have insane dirt on each other. Those small private all-girls schools were like a cesspool for the meanest/craziest gossip ever. Mmmm. Love it.

You guys have had to have heard the new Cee Lo song “F-uck You” by now (and if not, the very viral and very NSFW video is above.)

It’s like, one of those really good pop songs. I’m actually fascinated by it just from a production standpoint. It’s like they studied popular music from the last decade in a lab and took the most successful parts of all of it and put it in this one song or something. I’m not even really in love with the song, to be totally honest. But I can tell that it’s undeniable, ya know? It’s a crowd pleaser. People like jazzy music and saying “fuck you” in a fun way. It’s like, “duh.”

Anyway, the radio version of this song was just released after the video has done so well on the Internet and guys, LOL. They changed the title of the song to “Forget You”, which sucks. Forget you, Cee Lo? OK.

Look it. I know we can’t be jamming to swear words on the public airwaves, but censorship like this is lame. The should bleep the “fucks” so that every time we hear this song on the radio we’re reminded of how truly not free we really are.

Jennifer Aniston recently went up against Bill O’Reilly after he made some comments on his show about how her movie The Switch glamorized single motherhood and now their debate is being brought up with just about anyone who might have a comment on the subject. Mary Louise Parker did an interview with Vanity Fair to promote the current season of Weeds, but somehow the interview wound up on the topic of the Aniston/O’Relly debate:

Jennifer Aniston got some flack recently from Bill O’Reilly because she said it’s O.K. to be a single mother. O’Reilly went so far as to call her opinions “destructive to society.” I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this already, but as a single mother who plays a single mother on TV, do you disagree?

I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Why is being a single mother destructive?

I’m not sure I follow his argument. Something about the nuclear family and fathers being disrespected.

Give me a break. He sounds like an idiot. Who is he again?

He’s got a show on Fox News.

That’s the right-wing channel? Well, there you go. Maybe he’s right, I don’t know. I don’t think you necessarily have to be part of a traditional nuclear family to be a good mother. A lot of children from traditional nuclear families have really unhappy childhoods, and they have dysfunctional, distant parents who don’t pay attention to them. Also, some people don’t plan on being single parents. It’s not like you’re sitting at home and thinking, “Wow, I’d really like to do this by myself. I’d love to wake up six times a night and change diapers and have nobody to help me. That’d be great!” I certainly didn’t do that.

So you’re not buying O’Reilly’s theory that single mothers are destroying the fabric of society?

I think that opinion is pretty narrow-minded. People like him—and I don’t even know who he is, so this is just a guess—they usually just say shit like that for attention. He probably comes from a nuclear family and didn’t get enough attention as a child.

As someone who grew up in a single parent household and can see the pros and cons of this type of environment, I have to say that I’m appreciative of both MLP and Aniston’s statements. It’s quite obviously not ideal to grow up “missing” a parent, but if a child is nurtured and cared for by their one parent, then that’s really all that matters. Biology doesn’t wait for a sociologically ideal time to kick in, right?

If there’s one thing we can still all laugh at re: the tragedy that is Paris Hilton, it’s how damn good she is at taking mug shot photos. The photo above is the third mug shot she’s had taken in the last three years, and this one is so good that you can tell she’s had practice. I mean, really! Could you ask for a better mug shot than that? If I was a designer, I’d book her to be the face of my spring line like, yesterday!

Lil Wayne is spending his time in jail like most inmates do: writing letters to magazines and trying his hand at sports. Damn. Kind of depressing.

The above letter was written by Wayne to Sports Illustrated after he attempted to play a game of tennis and found it really difficult. In it he also includes who he thinks will win the upcoming US Open.

Wayne’s picks were Rafael Nadal and Kim Clijisters.

If you went to jail for a year, what random shit do you think you would start caring about?