I like Carrie Underwood. I’m not such a fan of country music, especially country bubble gum pop, but Carrie Underwood’s alright in my book. I came across this photo of her at her most recent Today Show performance, and because my internet connection is as slow as mole-asses (yes, mole asses), it took a minute to load, and I gradually got to see what she was wearing.
I caught the blazer and tie and thought, “Yeah, cute.” Then the tweedish shorts came into view and I liked the outfit even more. Another thirty seconds or so went by, the black knee socks were revealed and I thought, “Woo! Hot bitch! Check out those legs!” And then my connection took the liberty of speeding way the fuck up, and all at once my vision was assailed with those horrendous, horrific excuses for shoes. I could have died. I thought it was a cruel joke from the fashion gods for smiting, well, pretty much everyone, and I wanted to take a Louisville slugger to both shoes in an effort to beat the sheer malevolence out of them.
Jolie is still talking up her latest flick, Salt, which I probably won’t see, because Harry Potter movies and Pirates of the Caribbean-type plots are a bit more my speed, but she sounds like she had an amazing time during filming, and in her latest interview discussing Salt, she takes her kick-ass-ness to the next level by saying she wants to be the next James Bond:
On not playing a Bond girl:
‘They wanted me to play a Bond girl in Casino Royale,’ says Angelina Jolie. ‘I said, “Actually, I’d prefer to play him; I’d rather be Bond.” It was a joke – kind of. It was an interesting conversation.’
On Salt not being like James Bond:
‘Salt is nothing like Bond,’ says Jolie. ‘In so many spy films women are femme fatales and we wanted to avoid that. My character doesn’t use her sexuality to get anything. It’s the roughest I’ve looked. When we fight, it gets ugly. Somebody breaks my nose in the film. It’s not pretty.’
On being a woman in an action film:
‘I think when people write things for women – at least with the films I’ve done in the past, such as Tomb Raider – they’re not serious. They’re not raw. They’re not hard. So when we wanted a real female action hero, we looked towards something that wasn’t written for a woman.’
I know a lot of you guys like to make fun of Fergie for meth face, but damn. I never realized Lindsay had it, too, until I found out that she’s going to be treated for methamphetamines herself. Because yeah, she is. TMZ got the scoop that when Lindsay checks out of jail, she’ll be checking into Morningside Recovery rehab to be treated for meth use and withdrawal and bipolar disorder.
Who the fuck does meth, like, intentionally? I mean, you’ve probably all seen that website Faces of Meth. Why would someone consciously do things like that? Those are like Whitney Houston the people that intentionally use crack cocaine or inject heroin between their toes. These are the dirtiest of the dirty drugs, and anyone who knowingly tries a drug like meth is only setting themselves up for ultimate failure. It’s like, come on. How do you expect this is going to turn out?
Meth, for fuck’s sake.
Pretty hardcore, Linds. And pretty goddamned stupid, too.
Do you guys remember Chris Crocker? You know, “Leave Britney Alone!”, that guy? Well, he’s still doing his thing, and right now his thing is music. You can listen to his newest single, “Best of Both Worlds,” in the video above. I think it’s kind of catchy. What about you?
Ok, being a girl from a small town in Tennessee, this is kind of my only chance to talk about someone semi-famous that I know or have met, so I’m going to go ahead and grab it. See, Chris Crocker is from my hometown, and we used to be mallrats together. We would sit in the bookstore and read astrology books and play with my Harry Potter action figures by making them fly off the balcony and down to the first floor. I mean, back in 2004 his voicemail message was this five minute monologue, which included the very memorable line “My boyfriend can make you disappear. He’ll pull things out of your ear and say things like ‘we’ve never met before, have we?’” I remember when we got kicked out of the mall because he was wearing a shirt that says “I Love Lesbians,” and I see him looking fabulous at the gay bar all the time. So anytime someone says something about Chris Crocker being fake or a drama queen or that he’s perpetuating a stereotype, I’m like “No, not so much. He’s really just being himself.”
Jessica Simpson posted this picture on her Twitter last night, along with this lovely caption:
Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin’ so smart…:) but YUM!
Her “Yalie,” Eric Johnson, seems to be pretty into her, too: after just eight short weeks of dating, he’s dropping out of grad school for her. He was all set to head back to the University of Pennsylvania, but a source says that “he doesn’t want to move to Philadelphia and leave her so soon after they got together.” Some people are speculating that Jessica caught herself a gold digger, but I think it might be too soon to tell.
It’s not in me to hate too much on Jessica Simpson. I just can’t do it, and I’ve even seen Dukes of Hazzard. She just seems so genuine with everything, and I find her ridiculously endearing. So maybe she doesn’t look too smart in that picture, and it’s possible that her new boyfriend doesn’t have the best intentions, but let’s just root for her anyway, ok? She deserves that much.
Last night in a small town in New York, Chelsea Clinton got married to longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky. It looks like a really nice ceremony – the couple looks happy, and there are no reports of Bill getting a sneaky blow job in those $15,000 bathrooms or anything like that.
Bill made this sweet little statement:
“Today, we watched with great pride and overwhelming emotion as Chelsea and Marc wed in a beautiful ceremony at Astor Courts, surrounded by family and their close friends. We could not have asked for a more perfect day to celebrate the beginning of their life together, and we are so happy to welcome Marc into our family.”
And even though there was a little bit of talk about Obama not being invited to the ceremony, you know who was in attendance? Ted Danson. I’m not trying to hate on Obama or anything, but I’m just saying that I know who I’d rather party with. Good choice, Clintons.
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