Bad news for all of you Michael Douglas fans — and, of course, for Michael Douglas himself: turns out he has some kind of cancerous throat tumor and has to go through eight weeks of chemotherapy in order to beat the tumor into submission.
Douglas, who turned 65 this past year, claims in a statement that though he’s been diagnosed with what’s more or less throat cancer, he’s “very optimistic.” And I am, too, because Michael Douglas kicks ass. Michael Douglas is also a killer actor and producer, and has been in some of my favorite movies — The Game, Romancing the Stone (if you’ve never seen it, go — run, and rent it. Buy it, steal it, whatever, but see it!), Jewel of the Nile, One Night at McCool’s, The American President … I could go on and on.
So kick the shit out of that tumor, Mike, and rip its shitty little head off.
At a recent concert, Adam Levine had some company onstage while he performed gag-inducing song, Wake Up Call. The unknown woman, who sort of meandered out onto the stage at the :52 mark, entered the stage casually and strolled right off after making her debut. The band didn’t even miss a beat, no pun intended.
I know it appears that I’m caving toward Jennifer Aniston by running the premiere photos of her latest romantic comedy, but I had to, guys. I absolutely had to. Juliette Lewis is in this movie — you know, the Juliette Lewis that used to have eye-rolling, head-lolling, crazy-bitch sex with Brad Pitt back in the day — and you know what? Juliette is looking good these days. Seriously, looking good.
And of course, Jennifer Aniston was there, and she looked like Jennifer Aniston, a woman that I never have been, nor will ever be, excited about for any reason, but Jon Heder was there, too. Why? Who knows. But having Napoleon Dynamite at your movie’s premiere is sure to bring the excitement, since the plot of the movie stinks (it’s about a woman who decides to get pregnant via turkey baster, but finds out that the sperm donation has been ‘switched’ — crafty how they did that).
It’s been reported that Angelina Jolie will be playing Marilyn Monroe in a new film about the actress/model’s life, but Angelina said in a recent interview that not only has she heard nothing about the project, but that she’s not sure if she’d be the right fit for the role. Not only do I agree that there’s just got to be someone out there better suited to play Marilyn, but I’m impressed that Angelina didn’t just do the standard, “I haven’t heard anything about it, but I love the idea,” thing that actors always do in interviews. She like, actually admitted that she probably isn’t the right actress to do the part justice.
While Marilyn and Angelina have their bombsell-status and history of drug use in common, there’s too many things that feel off about this potential casting to me… Yet I’m not sure that there’s anyone else who could pull it off right now, either. It’s gotta be hard casting the part of one of the most beautiful and iconic women in history, ya know?
So let’s play casting couch in the comments. Are there any actresses out there that you think could pull off this part (I swear to G-d, if anyone says Katherine Heigl, I will eat a gun), or are you thinking they’re going to have to find some bombass newcomer like I am?
Dr. Frank Ryan, who most recently was in the press for the hack job he did on Heidi Montag, died yesterday in a car crash off the Pacific Coast Highway. After his car went off the road, Ryan became trapped in his vehicle where he eventually died from head injuries. He was 50 years old.
It’s rare that we’d cover the death of a famous doctor here on EvilBeet, but we’ve been obsessed with Ryan’s work whether we realize it or not. Not only was Ryan responsible for giving Heidi Montag all ten of those cosmetic procedures in one day, he also has worked on Adrienne Curry and Gene Simmons. We’ve been looking at this dude’s work every day for years and we didn’t even know it.
Heidi left the following message for Dr. Ryan on her Twitter page:
I think one could argue that Dr. Ryan was actually the worse thing to ever happen to Heidi Montag (Spencer Pratt excluded), but his work sure did make her happy. And I suppose that’s the point of plastic surgery?
We found out over the weekend that Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter Montana has decided to make the transition from “famous person’s child who shouldn’t have to worry about anything” to “porn star”. Since the story has blown up, Montana has spoken to her father (who reportedly tried to buy every copy of his daughter’s DVDs for one million dollars to keep them out of the public’s hands) and things are about as broken as you’d expect them to be over there.
Montana reported the details of the conversation with her father to TMZ (classy) and according to her, he said, “I’m not going to speak with you ’till you turn your life around,” and followed that by saying she was an embarrassment.
Lawrence also called out Montana for using their family name to promote herself saying, “You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn.”
Damn. Well, that’s a real good point right there, Lawrence.
You guys, I gotta say it. I think this chick’s on drugs. Is that really obvious? Did we all already know that? Am I the last one to that party? I mean, this is purely speculation on my part, but I would assume that this kind of unnecessary (in every sense of the word) behavior is a product of mixing drugs and a mental illness.
I spoke with a friend who is familiar with Montana last night (they grew up in overlapping social circles), and according to this friend, a sex tape is actually a step up. It was reported this week by some sites that Montana has a history of hooking, but I’m hearing that it might not all be in the past. As in, allegedly she was working the corner as recently as last week. That doesn’t seem like acting out against her rich dad to me or looking for love in all the wrong places or whatever. It sounds like the girl might have a serious problem and her dad needs to throw her ass in rehab while she’s still 19 and young enough to bounce back.
Disowning who appears to be his desperate, possibly drug-addicted, sex worker daughter until she turns her life around means that the two of them are probably never talking again.
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