I think I have a sister-crush on Demi Lovato. I think she’s adorable, beautiful, funny, and all-out sweet. All of that Joe Jonas business? Ugh, girl, you are so much better without him, ’cause he’s a tool who only dates women with really strong eyebrows, and you’re perfect just the way you are. Even if you did have some fun, virginal chemistry with him in Camp Rock, you’re better off. You’re going to do some big things, girl.

And about this Camp Rock business … I have to admit: I was a big fan. I’m not normally a Disney-watcher (I’m twenty-seven years old, for fuck’s sake), but I stumbled upon the debut of Camp Rock a few years ago when it first aired and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. No matter how I wanted to flip past the channel, I couldn’t. The only way that I was able to stop the madness was when my husband came home from a golf tournament that night — as soon as I heard the key in the front door, that shit was gone. Could you imagine? How embarrassing. Much to my poorly-executed chagrin, however, he turned into bed early and I was able to resume watching … Camp Rock. Loved it. And it’s become The Day After Tomorrow for me — one of those movies that just has to be watched when it’s on television, regardless of what’s going on that day or night.

Is it one of my favorite movies? Hardly. Would I go out and rent it, or worse, buy it? Fuck to the no. One thing I will say, though: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam debuts September 3rd at 8 PM ET sometime soon, and I am all about that shit.

I mean, uh, cool for them.

Snooki gets taken for another ride by another stupid fame-whoring juicehead goes on a ride with her latest boyfriend, Iraqi vet Jeff Miranda. This is post-traumatic stress disorder at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

She was the horsey-looking make-you-think-of-blowjobs chick from Jersey that made it far … ish on American Idol a few years back, and endured some kind of weird sex photography scandal? Yeah, that Antonella Barba.

I know you’re just totally wondering what she’s been up to over the past few years, and you’re probably just dying in anticipation, wondering what surprises are in store for you in this post. I won’t hold back on you any longer — I came across the “official video” of Antonella’s latest “hit” song, “Jersey Girl.” And boy, oh boy, is it … fucking awful. I’m not even going to try and be all creative with my wording or provide you will ill-concealed snark; it’s just fucking awful. From the cheesy filming to the song itself, to the — !! — singing and even beyond the dancing. It’s terrible. So, Happy Monday.

And I dare you not to get this song stuck in your head for the rest of it.

Katy Perry got herself a little press not too long ago by making comment on her Twitter page about entertainers using blasphemy in their performances. She Tweeted,”Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke,” and many suspected that comment was her response to Lady Gaga’s recently released music video for ‘Alejandro’.

When asked by The Advocate (it’s a good interview, you should read it) whom she was directing that statement toward, Katy replied, “Anyone. Whether it’s Madonna hanging on a cross or Russell using the Lord’s name in vain, it makes me feel … I guess I’m just sensitive to it. But the media loves to create these catfights with women — it’s almost a fetish. Sometimes you see it with bands like Blur and Oasis, but rarely you see it between anyone but girls because guys get off on the whole idea. I’m a huge fan of Lady Gaga, and hundreds of my tweets have been dedicated to her brilliance.”

Although Katy indirectly said that, although they haven’t spoken, there’s no unsettled beef between the two pop stars.

While there’s something to be said for Katy’s defense of her former religion, I do think it’s fairly hypocritical of her to pick and choose what she’s offended by in such a clearly biased fashion. To her blasphemy is cheap, but I’ve never seen Lady Gaga shoot whipped topping out of her breasts. Something tells me the church might not like that much, either. Katy Perry usually seems to be pretty judgment-free, so it’s odd to me why she can’t see that her stance on this is shocking if nothing else.

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are still totally doing the whole, “He’s straight and we’re dating” thing. Jesus. How long have they been putting this on? Like four years now? Crazy.

The “couple” is vacationing in Hawaii together and were snapped playing around on the beach yesterday.

Hey, Zac. Nice hat. Did your boyfriend pick that out for ya?

Shit. Well, these photos were the source of a lot of realizations this morning. 1) Marion Cotillard is still way prettier than me, 2) The September issues of fashion magazines are hitting the newstands and THAT means two things: 1) It’s fall, basically, 2) My clothes are even more out of date. Whatever! Like I care! But still, guys! It’s that time of the year! Fall fashion!

Dare I ask if anyone is particularly into any fall trends? And do you think that some day I will be as pretty as Marion Cotillard?