Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Would Have Given My Right Tit To Have Been At The Rock The Bells Festival Yesterday

…seriously. I would have cut off my boob and given it to you in a Ziplock had you come to me and offered to trade me a Rock the Bells ticket for it. So… if you invent time travel… and you have an extra ticket to the show… and a plane ticket to New York… and you have any interest in one small (AA) right breast…. let’s talk.

Why was the show such a big deal? The return of Lauryn Hill, duh. It’s been ages since Lauryn released the most important album of my lifetime, went crazy and then disappeared. But for some reason she agreed to perform at Rock the Bells. And if you don’t know how big of a deal that is, maybe the fact that she brought Jay-Z, Beyonce, Alicia Keys and Mary J. Blige out on stage with her might be an indication of her importance. Mary J! Beyonce! Jay-Z! Performing with Lauryn Hill! I would have died! Would you not have died?

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  • yep, i totally would have died. i probably would not have given my right tit though…maybe my left. perhaps we could join forces and give away a pair for a pair? mine is a C so the pair would be a tad lopsided, but hey…they could always take that extra fat and even them out or throw the extra fat and inject them into their lips…nothing like a Lisa Rinna trout pout!

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  • In light of your recent disparaging remarks about veterans, if I’d known you would have actually died, Molls, I would have gladly given you my tickets.

  • I didn’t see her in NY, but in MD Lauryn Hill absolutely sucked & fucked up the whole show. Yeah, we all loved her back in the day, but she is clearly not ready to perform & from the way she looks she is still crazy. Now the others, would’ve been great to see. We got Nas & Busta Rhymes as our surprise guests. Wu -Tang & A Tribe Called Quest were amazing. But Lauryn really messed up the show w/ her delays & poor performance.

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  • To Adair: So sorry to hear that. We also got Busta. And I agree Wu was good and Tribe was perfection.

    To Molls: I was at the NY one and she was great. The sound was a little off (she even went to see the sound guy to fix it) She performed very well and NY was in the house for sure!

    Another moment that was super cute was when she brought her kids while singing her song “Zion” who is about choosing to birth her child instead of caving in to the pressures of the industry and those who told her not to have him because he would ruin her.

    Anyhoo, It was a blast. But keep your boobs (right or left) babe. You will always need your boobs ;P