Can You Please Explain Britney’s Shirt To Me?

Hey, guys. I was just looking through the different photo agencies we use to find pictures for you guys and I spotted this album of Britney and her middle-aged boyfriend Jason shopping in Hawaii. The photo agency was trying to sell these as a like, “couple vacationing and doing normal things together”-type album, but here’s what I can’t stop thinking about when I look at them: What is going on with that chick’s shirt?

You guys know when you get one of those dry clean only dealies from a department store or whatever and you can’t exactly figure out how it’s supposed to lie flat on your body? Like maybe you’re supposed to wrap a strap differently or it’s on backwards or sideways? That’s what it looks like Britney has going on here. Because I cannot imagine that in a million years anyone purposefully designed a shirt to look like the one on her does now. That shirt has an unflattering bib. No change in size or color would fix that. I’m wondering if she was supposed to twist the halter neck before she put it on or something. I can’t get my head around the idea that someone would intentionally make a shirt that looks like that. It’s like Jan Brady’s home ec project.